like Tim Tebow

Remember the last time Facebook made an update – or anytime they’ve made an update? : ) At first everyone gets frustrated.  It’s different.  It doesn’t feel intuitive. And it’s frustrating to have to change what came naturally to us – where we could find things, what buttons to press, what settings were automatic.  It’s awkward at first – until we become used to it.  Then we almost forget the change ever happened.

Or when Word added their ribbon at the top.  Was it Windows 7?  All of a sudden I couldn’t find anything.  Nothing was where it used to be.  It was so frustrating at first.  And felt awkward.  But eventually I figured it out.  And eventually the new ribbon became intuitive.  And eventually I kind of forgot that it used to be different.

Or Tim Tebow.  With his throw that probably felt very natural for him.  Then they spent the summer changing it up so he’d have more control.  It likely felt really awkward at first – not at all like a throw should feel like.  Until he got the new way down.  For more control and accuracy. For the better.

Some of the stuff we’ve talked about – like being super intentional with our thoughts so we’re *sure* they are worthy of confronting… and some of the things we’re about to talk more about – like how to approach someone well… well, it may at first feel like a Facebook update.  Or a Word ribbon.  Or a Tebow throw.  It may feel like,

“But I’m not a ‘joyful’ type person.  I’m not a ‘lovely’ type person.  I mean, it’s nice if someone wants to ponder things that are pure and lovely, but I’m a realist.  I see people as they really are.  I see gunk.  I see ill-motives.  All your Philippians 4:8 stuff isn’t really me.”

If that’s the case, then I’d say, you’re right.  That’s why we’ve spent so much time unpacking it.  Because it doesn’t come naturally.  That’s why it is a *command* to think on things that are true, noble, and right. Because it’s not our nature.  We don’t have commands to breathe, because that’s our nature!  We are commanded to λογίζομαι because that’s not our nature.

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  ~ Philippians 4:8

It requires intentionality.  And apparently a lot of it, as it’s a theme in Scripture!

Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. ~ Colossians 3:2

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.  ~ 2 Corinthians 10:5

Thinking on things that are true, noble, and right is an intentional reckoning.  λογίζομαι is an accounting term used for calculating, computing, weighing.  It involves careful reasoning – not haphazard pondering.

We encourage such careful intentionality in our thoughts because – well, of course because the Lord says it!  One of the great reasons why He says it is because it so impacts our relationships.  Relationships are worth it!  As we’ve said, relationships are more valuable than speculations and valid perceptions.  They deserve truth.  And that’s what λογίζομαι is all about: fact.

“This word deals with reality. If I reckon (λογίζομαι) that my bank book has $25 in it, it has $25 in it. Otherwise I am deceiving myself. This word refers more to fact than supposition or opinion.”

It’s a high calling… and one we are to do, well, always:

The middle voice is reflexive which means that you yourself are to continually initiate this action and participate in the effects or results thereof.

Yikes, right?  We’re back to “but I can’t do that!” And again, we’re back to, “You’re right!” Note in the preceding verse (Philippians 4:7) we are assured that God will guard our hearts and minds in Christ.  Consider the writer.  Paul – the one who persecuted Christians.  The one who had them killed.  If the Lord got Paul to a place where he’s talking about thinking things that are true and noble… um, I think he’ll get us there, too.

The Lord will help us… but we do indeed have responsibility in this!  To win the battle (of our minds!  not of the conflict : )), we must consider our thoughts intentionally.  It requires effort – like ‘taking captive’!  It is not a passive pondering.  It is an active believing:

  • We λογίζομαι  that we are dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus (Romans 6:11). We actively believe it!
  • We λογίζομαι that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us (Romans 8:18).  We actively believe it!

Intentional, active… and important!  We must pay attention to what we’re paying attention to. The stakes are high!  Higher than getting our Facebook status posted or our football throw accurate! : )

“God’s standard for His children is that we should sit in judgment upon every thought that flickers through our minds. If it cannot pass the test of ringing true and being of honest worth, righteous, incorruptible, and attractive, it is to be rejected and repudiated. If you introduce one drop of contaminated water into a pitcher of cool water, the cool, refreshing, pure water will not purify that defilement, but the defilement will corrupt the pure; so these thoughts will contaminate your mind. Satan wants to turn your mind into a cesspool and have your mind occupied with that which ultimately must corrupt, defile, and spoil the whole body, distort the life, and produce sin.”  ~ Dwight Pentecost

The real battle may not be the conflict we are about to face.  The real battle is in our minds. We have *got* to win the battle of our minds *before* we go into ‘battle’ in conflict with another.

“The battle is not first in the field of action; it is in the field of thought.”  Dwight Pentecost

The battle of our minds must be won, and it can be won.

For great benefit:

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  ~ Romans 12:2a

We can be *renewed* by the transforming of our minds.  And our relationships, too!

*Then* we are ready for the field of action:

*Then* you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. ~ Romans 12:2b

As we wrap up almost a year on our minds – on thinking things that are Philippians 4:8 to be sure they are worthy of confronting! - I cannot underscore this enough: *First* we run our thought through our {dhs} sifter to determine if it is worthy of confronting, *then* we take action as we approach the other person well.  *First* we renew our minds, *then* we take action.  Our relationships, our God, and ourselves are worth it!!

photo credit: Clemed

Works like a charm

A little personal here… but when you sit on the toilet in our bathroom, this is what you see.

It’s an idea I borrowed from my mother-in-law.  It’s amazing how something hanging in just the right spot can totally refocus your day.

This morning I was pretty frustrated about a situation.  Then I went to the restroom.  Who knew that could so drastically change my day?

I started thinking about what was true about the situation, then what was noble — and what I was thinking at the time wasn’t very noble.  What is right?  Well, that was pretty clear if I’d just give it two seconds worth of thought.  What is pure and lovely – not what I was thinking!  What is admirable?  That felt good.  It felt honoring to think about the response that would be the admirable.  What is excellent and praiseworthy – honoring the Lord, for sure.

And in one short tinkle : ), my heart was recalibrated, I had clarity of direction, and my desire was to honor the Lord.

A simple little $3 frame from Michael’s placed in just the right spot… works like a charm.

when nothing in life seems ‘praiseworthy’

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Sometimes it can be really hard to think about things that are praiseworthy.  And I’m not just talking about when someone cuts you off on the road.

Like for seasons.  When day after day… and week after week… nothing in life seems ‘praiseworthy.’

It feels fake.

Or impossible.

My mother-in-law

She just had a major surgery.  Her 25th surgery, that is.  And she’s had cancer and chemo…  then rheumatoid arthritis and more chemo… and a heart attack.  She’s one of the tiniest, spunkiest women you’ll ever meet.  And she’s certainly had her share of setbacks and challenges in life.  How does she find joy?  She looks for the places where God *is* answering prayer.  Even the smallest of hints of His answering.  And she tries her darndest to use her experiences for the Lord.  Nurses, doctors, receptionists… she sees a lot of them, and they ALL hear about Jesus.  She is determined her suffering will not be in vain.

Me

Or there have been my years and years of disappointments, disillusionment, and what I’ve now understood to be verbal and emotional abuse disguised as spiritual wisdom… and the mental, physical, medical, and emotional recovery of all of that.  How did we find praiseworthy things in all of that?  For me, it was helpful to remember my baseline.  And for me, that baseline is this:  I am a sinner.  And what I deserve, frankly, is the place with the {double hockey sticks}.  The things that are better than hell?  Well, I can think of a few of those.  Even in the toughest of times.  I have eternal life.  And I have an amazing husband.  Both are amazing; neither I deserve.  And then sometimes I can even think of a few more.  And then, gradually, there is kind of an ‘opening up’ when thinking of things that are praiseworthy.  Like the clouds part.  And maybe the sun shines… just a bit.  For me, adjusting my baseline helps me realize how much I truly have to be grateful for.

Mike

One of the things that I really love about joy in the tough times is from a book I love, Champagne for the Soul.  It’s a 90 day experiment in joy (a great devotional – and a sweet gift!).  The author, Mike Mason, takes on his experiment right as tragedy strikes his dear friends.  When the boys of beloved friends are killed, he wonders if he should do his experiment in joy.  But his conclusion is this:

“Joy loves our brokenness best.”

Perhaps surprising, right?  It seems like a bit of a different take on joy.  Yet it is the truth and reality of the gospel…

“no one has greater capacity for joy than one who is, like our Savior, ‘a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering’ (Isaiah 53:3).”

… and especially of the cross!  Where joy and sorrow are intricately interwoven:

“The happiest thought in the world is the shed blood of Christ.”

A bit stunning, right?

“Joy lives in the shadow of the cross, not in a Pollyanna world where everything goes well.”

“Joy isn’t an airy ideal but a hard reality inextricably enmeshed with conditions in the real world.”

Sorrow, tragedy, suffering, grieving… do not let them keep you from thinking on things that are praiseworthy!  As we invite God into our pain, Mike concludes,

“A rich, authentic humanity is the soil out of which joy grows.”

Because we are sorrowful or grieving does not make it impossible to think things that are praiseworthy.  And it doesn’t make things like an Ebenezer ornament for those ‘lighthearted, happy people.’  In actuality, your tragedy, sorrow, difficulty, grieving may be just the place from which the Lord wants to arise joy.

The Angel

If that’s the case for you this holiday season, I pray the Lord would give you glimpses of things that are praiseworthy.  And that He’d bless you with joy.

And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.”  ~ Luke 2:10

For all the people.  Joy is for all people… including you!

photo credit: davebattle.com

There’s a lot of clappin’ goin’ on!

Today’s word?  Praiseworthy.

And I just love this. Guess what the basic meaning of the word is?

Used sparingly in the Scriptures, the basic meaning of this word is “applause.” It speaks of expressed approval or public recognition.

How fun is that!  Today we get to think about applause : )

Like ‘excellent,’ ’praiseworthy’ is the summation of the previous virtues in Philippians 4:8:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

It is a comprehensive exhortation of the verse, covering all possible virtues and summing up the ones mentioned.  It describes something worthy of being commended or the act of expressing admiration or approval.  It is offering praise or recognition for something that is praiseworthy or deserves to be praised.

This applause word is used 10 other times in the New Testament – 3 of men, 3 of God, and 4 of…well, it’s really cool.

So we get to applaud people!  ‘Praiseworthy’ can be used of man – thinking about the commendable things in men.

  • Praise from those in authority for doing good (Romans 13:3; 1 Peter 2:13-14)
  • Praise from believers for service to the gospel (2 Cor 8:18)

And we also get to think about applauding God.

[Praiseworthy] means “to commend,” and thus “to praise.” In the spirit of the OT, this word for praise involves commending God for himself, his qualities, and his works.

In the NT, I love this – our being believers is to the praise of God.  We were predestined to the praise of God’s glorious grace (Ephesians 1:6, 12, 14).

And as a crazy bonus… one day God will applaud believers!

Our heart…

No, a man is a Jew if he is one inwardly; and circumcision is circumcision of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the written code. Such a man’s praise is not from men, but from God.  ~ Romans 2:29

Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.  ~ 1 Corinthians 4:5

Our faith…

These have come so that your faith–of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire–may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.  ~ 1 Peter 1:7

Or really, Christ’s fruit!

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God. ~ Philippians 1:9-11

One day God will applaud His work in us.  Until then, we are to think on things that are praiseworthy – to think on things that the Lord will applaud.  How fun is that?  We get to intersect with eternity – with the Eternal One.  We get to pray the Lord would open our eyes to the things He applauds in others – their service and their hearts for Him.  We pray we would see clearly the things He does that are worthy of praise.  And we applaud Him!

There are so many ways we can do this.  We’ve got

  • man-to-man: praise someone directly
  • man-about-man: share a commendable thing about someone with someone else
  • man-to-God:  praise God directly
  • man-about-God:  share a commendable thing about God with someone else
  • God-to-man:  anticipate with joy that one day, we will receive praise from God!

Such options!  I hope you’ll be intentional to applaud someone today.

And next time, I’ll share with you one of our favorite family praise traditions.  Just in time for Thanksgiving.  We love it!  I hope you do, too. : )

A Personality of Excellence

There was a hole on my husband’s flag football team, and I thought I had the perfect solution!  And no, it definitely was not my playing!  I can’t catch anything – much less some oddly shaped ball : )

Their quarterback was out for the season.  And I thought, “What a fun position!  You get to see the whole lay of the field, decide on the best play, determine your team’s next move – so much strategy and decisions!”  It just sounded like a dream position to me.  And my husband is an amazing athlete (biased? : )), so I knew he’d be great!

And he just kind of looked at me like I was maybe just a little crazy.  Maybe he was surprised that I actually knew what a quarterback did. : )  But after that wore off, we realized something really valuable for our marriage.

Dave loves playing defense.  He *loves* it.  And he’s really good at it.  He’s won trophies for best defensive player in the league – that’s just like a step or two away from a Heisman, right?  He’s crazy good at it.  He just kind of knows where to go on the field, and he just happens to be in the right spot to get an interception or tackle (read: pop off their flag).  He’s just got this intuition thing going on.  The other team will try some trick play, and he just kind of goes to the right spot to stop them.  It’s truly a gift.

So here I am thinking the offensive, play-calling, forward-determining spot is perfect!  You get to learn all these great drives and implement the best one for the current situation.  And there he is thinking, “Uggh.   Who wants to memorize a bunch of plays?  Why would you clutter your mind with all that?  Just intuitively read the players and their moves and roll with it.”

This pattern displays itself in our marriage over and over.  He’s got the chill intution thing going on; I’ve got the driving planner going on.

When I was in seminary, I could spend hours and hours and hours and hours researching different positions… trying to understand their philosophy and history and theology and exegesis… wrestling with which viewpoint was most solid… making charts and cross-referencing and reading and researching.  And I’d get to a place where I finally thought, “To me, this seems like the most solid viewpoint.  It has this weakness and that weakness, but I can understand those weaknesses this way, and it has all these strengths.”

And in would pop my husband.  “Whachya doin?”

“Researching a paper. I have to choose one of these eight views.”

“Oh.”  I’d read him the views.  “I think it’s #5,” he’d say.

Um…. so do I… but I just got there after countless hours of wrestling and research.  “That’s interesting.  Why?”

“It just seems like God to me.”

Oh.

Or when we consider stock.  I would tend to diversify and follow all the experts’ percentages and research stocks and bond and have a strategy.  Dave got some birthday money and bought some stocks.

Me:  “How did you choose those?”

Dave: “I don’t know.  They just seemed like good ones.”

Oh.  Ok.  And guess whose choices are doing better?  His!

We’re clearly wired differently.  We recently both took an assessment called RightPath, and it totally affirmed that.  Dave is intuitive; I’m a strategic planner.  Dave is supportive; I’m a driver.  Dave is a – whatever the choices are for defensive football positions!  I’m more wired (theoretically, if I understood football! : )) for a play-calling, offensive role.

So what’s my point?

Excellence.

Excellence is my point.

As we strive to think about things that are ‘excellent,’ that certainly pertains to ‘best in class.’  But all this football and stock talk displays another nuance of it:

To the Greek philosophers, excellence meant “the fulfillment of a thing.”

Um… ok?

Maybe this will help a bit more:

When anything in nature properly fulfills its purpose, that fulfillment was referred to as “virtue” or moral excellence. Land that produces crops is “excellent” because it is fulfilling its purpose. The tool that works correctly is “excellent” because it is doing what a tool is supposed to do.

Isn’t that kind of a cool take on excellence?  Fulfilling your purpose.  It doesn’t mean becoming the quarterback because they are the star and wouldn’t it be excellent to be the star quarterback.  It means fulfilling your purpose – and if that’s as a defensive player, well then, be excellent fulfilling your purpose there.

So a nuance of thinking things that are excellent pertains to helping people fulfill their purpose.  Just because someone does something differently or is wired differently doesn’t mean that is grounds for critiquing.  Just because Dave chooses to spend his birthday money choosing his stocks differently than I would doesn’t make it bad or wrong.  Just because he doesn’t want to try for the quarterback position doesn’t mean he’s not driven or isn’t willing to try something new or whatever.  It means he is doing his best to be the person God created Him to be.

My role is to champion people towards excellence – which means the fulfillment of their purpose.  Not the fulfillment of how I think things should be done or how I think people should be wired.  But the fulfillment of just exactly how God wired them to be!

the value of feelings

I was lying in bed crying.  My husband was sound asleep next to me.  And all I could think about was how unloved I felt.

My pillow was getting wet from my tears… and that just added to my frustration.  Not only do I feel unloved, but now I am sleeping on a slimy pillow!  Gross.

As I lay there glumly, the Lord was gracious to nudge me.  Yes, I’m feeling unloved… but does that mean that my husband doesn’t love me?

My feeling is important – feeling unloved is a big deal.  Yet I’ve got to remember that it’s a feeling – a trigger that something is wrong.  It is not a foundation of truth.  It is a warning light.  It is not always accurate, but it is such an important indicator.  Its value lies in its ability to draw my attention to something that needs to be looked in to.

So I asked the Lord to look under the hood : )

Since feelings can be caused by my sin… or by Satan… or they can be prompting from the Lord, where was all this feeling of being unloved from?

Since my goal is the last option – that my feeling be of the Lord, I want to be sure to get any uckiness out of me that fits the first two.  For me, when I feel a bit discombobulated, I find it helpful to distill my thoughts and feelings by running them through God’s Word.  Philippians 4:8 is especially powerful for me:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

In all honesty, I rarely make it past the first two.  And that’s exactly what happened that night…

The Lord brought to mind a bunch of things that were true.  My love language – by a landslide! – is physical touch.  My absolute favorite time of day is climbing into bed with my husband and cuddling.  That’s how I fell asleep every night for years – cuddling with my amazing husband.  I loved it.  It was the happiest, best place on earth for me.  We teased that we have a king sized bed but could sleep on a twin…

…or I did, anyway!

After years of falling asleep this way, my husband finally told me that he has trouble sleeping every night because of back pain.  Before I knew him, he had two major back surgeries.  He permanently has a huge metal plate and six metal bolts in his back.  And they’re not very comfy.  Especially with your wife curled up next to you causing the mattress to lean at an angle… or with your wife’s leg or arm on top of you pressing down on all that metal.  He asked if we could sleep on separate sides of the bed so he wouldn’t be in as much pain and could sleep better.  Of course!  Well, that was my rational answer, anyway.  But when implementation time came, my feelings took over.

So that’s why I was laying in bed crying.  I felt so unloved.  And in that intense emotion, as much as I wanted to turn it into, “Therefore, my husband doesn’t love me,” the Lord was gracious to stop me.  What was true?  Cuddling makes me feel loved.  I was in a situation where I normally was cuddling and thus normally felt loved, but that was different tonight.  What was different was whether or not we were cuddling – not whether or not I was loved!  What is noble?  Um, my crazy husband lay in pain every night for years letting me cuddle with him!  That’s insanely loving of him.  How much more noble of a man could I ask for?!

And, like most times of conviction, that’s about as far through the {dhs} sifter as I made it.  So I lay in bed blown away by how much my husband loves me – how much he has sacrificed for me every night for years.  Yet I also acknowledged that cuddling is important to me.  So the next day, I asked since we weren’t cuddling falling asleep anymore if there was some other time we could.

That conversation went over much better than “You don’t love me” would have!

Because it was of the Lord.  It was realigned with His desires – that we think things that are true and noble.  That feelings are a trigger that something is wrong… but not a foundation of truth.  I am so grateful for the damage and destruction in relationships that is averted when we align our hearts and minds with the Lord’s before acting on our feelings.  And I am grateful for the peace, clarity – and love! – the Lord brought to me that night.

Just because I feel unloved doesn’t mean my husband doesn’t love me.

He does.  Madly.  Sacrificially.  And for that, I am blessed.

The Trick with Feelings

Julie sent her friend an e-mail. It simply said,

“You don’t care about me.”

Her friend Heather’s heart sank.  Of course Heather cared about her!  She could think of a lot of ways she has cared for her.  She responded that she was sorry Julie felt that way, but could she please clarify what made her feel that way because she actually cared a lot about her.Julie responded,

“That’s just how I feel.”

Oh – it’s a tough day for Julie and Heather’s relationship!  What is going on?

There can be value in ‘sharing our feelings.’  It can help build intimacy in a relationship – if done healthfully, that is!  It can also cause great damage and destruction if done unhealthily.  Feelings are tricky.  They are great indicators… but poor foundations.  They are valuable in drawing our attention to something that is often important… but they are poor sources of truth.

Anyone can become angry—that is easy.  But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way—that is not easy.    ~ Aristotle

Feelings can be valuable to hone in on.  They could be a prompting from the Holy Spirit… or an indication that our rights have been violated… or a conviction that we have sinned… or an awareness that we have been sinned against…or simply the devil playing tricks.  At the very root of it all, feelings distill down to essentially three sources:

1.  God – The Holy Spirit may be prompting us, or our feeling may truly be a result of a pure spirit.

2.  Satan – Oh he’s crafty!  He figures out our buttons and knows how to orchestrate things so they get pushed.

3.  Sin – Our ‘feeling’ may entirely be our sin nature: our ignoble perception of a sinless – or lovingly motivated! – action.

With such hugely impactful sources of our feelings – and since they can send us and our relationships in oppositely helpful directions, how do we determine what to do with them?

“Your feelings are your responsibility and you must own them and see them as your problem so you can begin to find an answer to whatever issue they are pointing to.”

Sometimes we blame others for our feelings… but in reality, our feelings may be caused by our own sinful nature.  They may simply be something *we* need to own and confess.  Before we go spreading it around the kingdom, it is valuable to first determine if we are spreading destruction and sin… or constructive, kingdom-building feedback.

Since excellence is associated with God and His glory, and since it refers to preeminent and best in its class, a feeling is only excellent if it is of the Lord.  If it involves our sin or Satan, it obviously can’t be excellent.  And since ‘excellent’ is a summary of the other characteristics in Philippians 4:8, let’s drill down on what it’s summarizing:

  • Is the feeling true?  Actually factually true?  No, it’s a perception.  So let’s start there – what *is* true?  What is actually, factually true that may be contributing to my feeling?   Did Heather do an actual, factual action?  Does it even have to do with Heather, or am I just in the dumps?
  • Is it noble?  If Heather did do an actual, factual action, what could be a more noble reason she could have done it?
  • Is it right?  Is this a personal preference thing, or does it pertain to sin?
  • Is it pure? Am I sure my heart is pure before the Lord, and this feeling isn’t a result of my junk?
  • Is it lovely?  Will sharing this with her promote brotherly love?
  • Is it admirable?  Or is it complainy and unfavorable?

If it’s not excellent, it’s not of the Lord.

Julie and Heather’s story demonstrates an important aspect of excellence:

It never means cloistered virtue or virtue of attitude, but virtue which is demonstrated in life.

Excellence is impactful.  Julie’s feelings certainly got demonstrated in life!  Her feelings and thoughts have played out in the kingdom and impacted at least one other…as well as herself.  This can be hurtful, damaging, and even verbally abusive to Heather.

But it is also hurtful to Julie. Second Peter 1:4 tells us the first thing we are to add to our faith is excellence:

Peter uses it as a quality of God and thus as the first quality that we are to add to our faith (2 Pe 1:3, 5). This means that as a new Christian, one of the first things you must do is to stop any behavior that is not in line with God’s moral virtues as revealed in Scripture, such as the Ten Commandments, the Sermon on the Mount, and Paul’s list of the deeds of the flesh (Gal 5:19, 20, 21-see notes Gal 5:19; 20; 21). To continue doing such things will hinder your growth in godliness. We must focus our minds on moral virtue.

If we continue in feelings not of the Lord, it will hinder our growth in godliness.  Yikes!  Let’s rid of that.

Instead,

A believer demonstrates moral excellence or virtue by living the way he now has the potential to live (possessing everything necessary for life and godliness, His precious and magnificent promises, partaker of His divine nature).

Thinking things that are excellent is truly fulfilling our purpose as it enables us to live the way we now have the potential to live as believers.  It enables us to grow towards godliness.  And it enables us to truly reflect the One who is Most Excellent!

Up next… I’ll share with you my own ‘Julie’ moment and how the Lord guided me through.

What will God ask me?

I was talking on the phone with someone I love dearly the other day.  As I’ve mentioned to you, I’m going through a really tough season in a relationship.  And the person on the phone had some opinions about what I should be doing and how I should be handling it.  Including that because I’m a Christian, it shouldn’t be like this.

I tried to kindly reaffirm my boundaries – this is my relationship with this other person, and I am handling it in as God-honoring of a way as I know how.

The response was, “I think I’m entitled to my opinion.”

Hmmmm…..I mean, I guess that’s true.  We are in America.  But something about it didn’t sit well with me.  I don’t know…

I was praying through all of this.  A bit uneasily.  I asked the Lord to show me what I should do in situations like that – Am I entitled to my opinion about what others should do in their lives? The Lord brought this verse to mind:

“Everything is permissible”—but not everything is beneficial.  ~ 1 Corinthians 10:23

So it seems like it’s permissible.  But is it beneficial?

This could go a bunch of different directions, so let’s take a quick pause to clarify.  We make a distinction on {double hockey sticks} between sin and personal preference: 

  • Personal preference when *I* think someone should be doing something differently.  Our perspective is that personal preference is just that, personal preference!
  • Actual, factual sinwhen *God* thinks someone should be doing something differently.  If someone is actively, factually sinning, we of course encourage lovingly bringing it to their attention.
  • Perception of sinwhen I think I can see a person’s heart and motives and I think that God thinks they are sinning.  We are *huge* unfans of this.  It can quickly get messy and is destructive.

With that all framed up, our question today pertains to personal preference situations – not sin.  When I have a personal preference opinion about how someone else should be doing something, is that beneficial?

Ok, unpause : )

Now we could run our question through our {dhs} sifter

  • Is what I’m thinking true – meaning do I have all the facts and they are straight?
  • Is what I’m thinking noble – have I considered that there are at least two sides to the story and I know both of them and am presuming the best about both parties?
  • Is what I’m thinking righteous – that my opinions pertain to sin and not just personal preference?

Just to get us started!

Or we can take the shortcut!  Remember what we’ve established – even if you can’t remember all the adjectives at the beginning, we are to think about things that are excellent and praiseworthy as overarching principles.  ‘Excellent’ refers to ‘best in class.’  Are we thinking the best possible things we can be thinking?

Turn my eyes away from worthless things…  ~ Psalm 119:37

Is it straight up sinful to opinionate about others lives?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  Some of it may or may not make it through the {dhs} sifter.

But we are commanded to think about things that are excellent.  Is opinionating about others’ lives excellent?

Here’s my best theory so far.  And it revolves around this question,

“What will God ask me when I get to heaven?”

Yikes, right?  How did we get to big heavy questions and the afterlife?  It’s an easy way to get a glimpse of what really matters.  Begin with the end in mind!  So let’s think about the big picture and see how it fits in.

Based on what I see in God’s Word, I personally can’t find any place in Scripture that seems to suggest God will ask me,

  • How do you think that person should have handled that situation?
  • What was your opinion on how my child did that?

I personally can’t find anything in Scripture that supports that God wants us to spend our time opinionating with our personal preferences about how another person handles things.  Remember when Job’s friends did this?  God was none too happy with them!

So is it straight up sinful?  I don’t know – I could see how that argument could get tenuous. But is it beneficial?  If I am trying to focus my thoughts on things that are ‘preeminent’ and ‘excellent in their class,’ to me, that means focusing on things that God wants us focused on – and I can’t find anyplace that suggests opining fits into this ‘excellent’ mold.  As David prays that God would turn his eyes from worthless things, are there more worthwhile things we could be doing?  Is there something more excellent we could be doing?

Based on what I see in God’s Word, what He asks us to do, and what He desires of His children, it seems to me that questions He may ask straight up from His Word would include things like,

  • How did you encourage them?
  • How did you support them?
  • How did you love them?

I see a lot in Scripture that supports that God wants us to love, support, encourage, pray for, and advocate for others.   It seems to me this may be the most excellent thing.

So is opinionating about what other people should do beneficial?  I think our end goal determines this.  When we stand before God, it seems to me that, at best, our opining will be of no value.  It will, at best, get burned away like chaff (1 Corinthians 3:15).But anything we’ve done according to His Word – our prayers, encouraging, advocating – that has eternal reward.   I get goosebumps just thinking about it!!

So are we “entitled to our opinion”?   I suppose.  Everything is permissible.  Including chaff.  Chaff is permissible.  But is that what we want?

It seems to me there is something so much better!

Something beneficial.

Excellent.

What God values and rewards eternally.

To me, it seems encouragement, support, love, and care is the excellent route.

Am I crazy?

Photo credit: Marco Bellucci

Best in Class

{some background today… with some great, practical application on Thursday}

What is one of the absolute best ways to get upstream of conflict?  Thinking things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable.  So much conflict flows from our own thoughts… that we then try to pin on others.  Uggh.  But if we first be sure to align our thoughts to Christ’s, relationships flow much more smoothly!

We’re rounding the bend on unpacking Philippians 4:8.  Up next?  Excellent.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Now note the format changes a smidge when we approach ‘excellent.’  Introduced by εἴ τις – ‘if anything’ or ‘if there be any’:

A comprehensive exhortation follows, covering all possible virtues.

Excellent and praiseworthy, then, sum up all we are to think.  They cover all possible virtues.  It’s like

The commandments, “Do not commit adultery,” “Do not murder,” “Do not steal,” “Do not covet,”and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  ~ Romans 13:9

You’re likely well familiar with “Love your neighbor as yourself” – the second greatest commandment.  The phrase ‘whatever other commandment there may be’ contains that same εἴ τις, so the comprehensive exhortation to “love your neighbor as yourself” includes the commandments mentioned before, sums them up, and is overarching.

‘Excellent’ and ‘praiseworthy’ will do the same in Philippians 4:8. If you can’t remember all the adjectives before, just remember these!  They are the comprehensive exhortation of the verse.  They cover all possible virtues and sum up the ones mentioned.

So what do they mean?

Let’s start with excellent.  We could ask Bill and Ted : )

But we’ll go with Peter!  He’s the only other one who uses it in the NT.  Paul uses it only here in Philippians 4:8, then Peter uses it three times:

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.   ~ 1 Peter 2:9

We are supposed to show forth the excellencies of God – who called us out of darkness into marvelous light! We, a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation!

Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord; seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence.  ~ 2 Peter 1:3

I love that.  In the *knowledge* of God and Jesus, grace and peace can be multiplied.  For those of us with a sacred pathway of intellect, this is music  to our ears and lovely worship!  And I love that His divine power grants us everything – everything! – pertaining to life and godliness.  I could just rumble that around over and over all day long.  How amazing is that!  All this through true knowledge of Him! This kind of strikes a chord – Paul tells us to think things that are true, and there is a reason for it.  Truth leads to amazing places!  Yet again, in such a glorious verse, there is our word ‘excellence’ – again associated with God and His glory.

And our last one…

Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge…  ~  2 Peter 1:5

So Peter uses it twice to refers to God’s glorious excellence, and here he challenges believers to add it to their faith.  Why?

For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For he who lacks these qualities is blind or short-sighted, having forgotten his purification from his former sins. Therefore, brethren, be all the more diligent to make certain about His calling and choosing you; for as long as you practice these things, you will never stumble…  ~  2 Peter 1:8-10

I just think that’s such a crazy amazing promise.  If we add excellence to our faith, we will not be useless or unfruitful.  How amazing is that?  And as long as we practice these things, we will never stumble.  Um… sign me up!

“Peter uses it as a quality of God and thus as the first quality that we are to add to our faith (2 Pe 1:3, 5). This means that as a new Christian, one of the first things you must do is to stop any behavior that is not in line with God’s moral virtues as revealed in Scripture, such as the Ten Commandments, the Sermon on the Mount, and Paul’s list of the deeds of the flesh (Gal 5:19, 20, 21-see notes Gal 5:19; 20; 21). To continue doing such things will hinder your growth in godliness. We must focus our minds on moral virtue.”

So here we are, with amazing reasons to desire thinking things that are excellent.  Now all we have to do is think things that are like God’s glory.  Yikes?

Let’s break it down a little.  Excellent, or ἀρετὴ, refers to ‘virtue’ or moral excellence.

In class. it has no special moral significance, but denotes excellence of any kind—bravery, rank, excellence of land or of animals.

So we’re not necessarily talking about being God here!  God is of course excellent in his class – or any class for that matter!  Thinking things that are excellent “refers to any preeminence (moral, intellectual, military).”  It came to mean “quality of life which made someone or something stand out as excellent.”

It has a couple of nuances to it that we’ll explore in some fun upcoming posts.  But for today, I must say I am always struck as I look into these words.  The bar is high.  The calling is noble.  What we are to be thinking about is ‘excellent’!  Preeminent.  Excellent in its class.  Like God and His glory.  Is the thought that I’m thinking about another person excellent? Is the thought that I’m thinking about the other candidate excellent?  How would my analogies hold up?

afterlife : heaven :: political discourse : my description of the other party’s candidate

gods  : God :: water cooler talk : my thoughts on my coworker

It’s pretty challenging – and convicting!  (And I’m not just talking about that flashback to SATs! : ))  If God is the most excellent in his category (and He is!), then by parallel, is my talk about others the most excellent it can be in that category?

The drawbacks of not doing it?  Changing my role at the water cooler talk.  It can be kind of a bummer to change those dynamics.  But the advantages?  Oh yeah – remember all that good stuff?  Never stumble.  Growth in godliness.  Being useful.  Fruitful.

Lord, help us crave thinking about things that are excellent!

A big picture to ponder… with a practical example coming up!

Mind the Gap

I was talking to a friend of mine who does websites for churches.  I shared the concept of my blog, and he suggested a talk by Andy Stanley.  It’s only fitting that it’s all about apps! : )

The talk is #5  in the Life Apps series.  It’s all about trust.

Andy’s take on this whole conflict thing seems to align pretty swimmingly with our take here at {double hockey sticks}.  I just love his angle on it!  I highly recommend listening to the talk - or even better, watching it!  He uses a simple illustration that is fantastic.  Here’s what I just love…

He offers a fairly simple – yet oddly profound – breakdown:

In every relationship, there are expectations…And then there is what we actually experience.

Here is what you said you would do…

Here is what happened…

Now here is the interesting part.  What happens when there is a gap?  What happens when what we expect and what actually happens are different?

When there is a gap, we choose what goes in the gap.

*We* are in charge of that.  *They* don’t control what goes in the gap.  *We* do.

Why?

Andy launches from some of the beloved wedding verses about loving one another.  His take:

Love gives the other person the benefit of the doubt.
Love looks for the most generous explanation for the other person’s behavior.

Here at {double hockey sticks}, we advocate it’s because it is our responsibility as believers to take captive our thoughts and make them obedient to Christ.  It is our responsibility to think things that are true and noble.  So we start with what is true – actually, factually true.  We start with what factually they said they would do… and what *factually* happened.  Factually what is true.  Not our opinion or our interpretation of their motives or our false attribution error of what happened.  The actual, factual, unopinionated version of what happened.

Then what do we do with the gap?

It is within your power to choose what goes in the gap.

We think things that are noble.  We assume there is a noble explanation.  We choose to believe the best.

We are in charge of what goes in that gap.

No matter how bad it is, no matter how wide the gap is, and no matter how consistently there is a gap, you. choose. what. goes. in. the. gap.

So we start with what is true of our expectations and experience (actually, factually true!), then we believe the best by thinking things that are noble to fill in any gaps.

This is, by the way, a great model for more than our thought life – it is a great model for ‘confrontation’ as well.  I put it in quotes, because it is my experience that most ‘confrontation’ doesn’t have to be ‘confrontational.’

Can I tell you the sweetest story from my husband’s childhood to demonstrate?

So my husband is out playing with some friends.  His mom calls him in for dinner.  What is a good kid to do? Well, obey their mom and come in for dinner.

But Dave doesn’t come in.  He continues hanging out with his friends.

Hmmmm…

You see the paradigm playing out here?

  • EXPECTATION: son comes in when mom calls him for dinner
  • EXPERIENCE: son continued talking to his friends

Both very factual, right?

Now what goes in the gap?

Possibilities of course include disobedience.  But my husband is a saint.  I’m serious : )  So my mother-in-law chose to believe the best.  She chose to assume positive intent.  She chose to think things that were noble.

And can I tell you – boy, was she right?

So Dave comes in, and for the sake of the story, let’s say she knows the future and follows Andy’s outline. : )  So she ‘confronts’ (not really, more ‘asks lovingly’)…

MOM: Dave, when I call you to come in for dinner, I expect you to come in.  But this time you didn’t.  Can you tell me about what happened?

And Dave responds, (are you ready for this?)

SON: I was in the middle of sharing the gospel with them.

{insert a bit of stun}  Yes, I told you the man is a saint : )

Sometimes there is a pretty decent explanation for why there is a gap between expectations and experience.  And may I be so bold as to say that we keep from sinning when we think nobly about what should go in that gap.

So let’s mind the gap.  Nobly! : )

{ There are more goodies in the talk.  I don’t want to spill *all* of them! : ) }