Tag Archives: judge

our lovely harvest

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I tease that you can take the girl out of the Midwest, but you can’t take the Midwest out of the girl. : )

My Midwest fix for the summer has been planting our garden.  Since our backyard is on a slope, it kind of turned into a fortress!  My husband did an amazing job building it, and it has been a lot of fun to grow our produce!

These are some of my favorites…

The mighty zucchini!  It’s like a balloon animal.  Seriously.  It’s fun to see how it grows.  First a hollow stalk comes out, like one of those long skinny balloons that clowns use.  Then the zucchini kind of comes from the base and fills in part of the stalk – just like someone blowing up one of those balloon animals.  And the little flower on the end is like the knot on the end of the balloon. They’re really fun.

I also love the green beans… and all the ones that vine!  Cantaloupe, peas – their little tentacles are so cute!  They have a great time wrapping themselves around on the trellis and other plant stalks.

We’re also trying to grow strawberries - the plants produce stems called runners.  I learned perhaps a little late that we’re actually supposed to clip the runners.  Though they may seem like they’re making the plant more prolific with more stems, they actually end up taking nutrients away from the main plant and decrease strawberry production.  So we got out our scissors and started clipping our runners.  There were quite a few of them – some of them had even developed their own roots!

And as I was clipping the strawberry runners, I started thinking,

“Uh oh.  I’ve got a runner.  In my blog – I have a runner.”

This whole judging section of the blog – there are so many stories to tell and so many verses of Scripture to talk about!  Judging is everywhere.  But it’s turning into a runner.  If I don’t prune it back a little, I’m going to end up with this judging section taking up roots!  So we’ll prune it for now and try to come back to it sometime so we can keep feeding the plant!

What, again, was the plant?

I’m so glad you asked!

We started this blog not quite a year ago, and I am still unpacking ‘worthy of confronting’!  How crazy is that?  I knew the Lord had been showing me some things about whether things were worthy of confronting, but I had no idea it was this much!!  It is crazy important.

In conflict, it’s not just how we confront and respond.  It’s if we should even be confronting about it in the first place.

Or to go back even further than that – should we even be *thinking* it in the first place!

So that’s our main vine for now:  Should I even be thinking this stuff?  Much less getting mad at someone else over it and confronting them on it!  We’ve explored Philippians 4:8’s true, noble, right, pure… and we’re wrapping up lovely.  I added some categories on our menu under ‘worthy of confronting’ to help differentiate all this – I hope you like them!

So what were the main things that stemmed from our discussion of ‘lovely’?  (Did you catch that lovely little plant reference? : ))

{warning!}  a bit of hyperlink craze is ahead… we’ve been on this topic for a while!

‘Lovely’ seems to mean

Why shouldn’t we judge?

Not judging others is truly a blessing – to them and to us!

So what do we do?

What are some principles that help us not judge… but think lovely thoughts?

  • the -++ principle
  • A weakness is often simply a strength taken to an extreme.
  • Beware of the things you love most about someone – those are the things Satan will use to drive you crazy!

Lovely goodness!!  Quite the harvest, eh?

Lots to ponder as we seek to set our minds on things that are true, noble, right, pure, and lovely.  Up next – admirable!

The “How” of How to be Right!

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So we’ve concluded that there is one – and only one – way to be right: to agree with God.

Everything else? Well, the obvious opposite is that if it disagrees with God, it’s wrong. And all the other stuff? Well, that’s personal preference, or a current best suggestion based on current best knowledge and understanding. Which can, of course, change in no time flat.

But I digress! If the way to be right is to agree with God, how do we do that?

Well, for the stuff in Scripture, we simply agree with it! We study it, know it, memorize it, align with it, practice it, implement it, reflect it, live it… and live by the Spirit in doing the best we can with it!

But what about the types of things Job’s friends were saying? How do we know if those are true of us? How do we come to right conclusion? A humbly right one, that is! We of course want to be open to sin in our lives, but we are in dangerous, destructive territory if we open ourselves to others’ inaccurate perceptions of sin in our lives. Because ‘inaccurate perception’ is simply seven syllables for a very destructive one: lie.

So what do we do about judgments? Paul talks about this in Galatians 6. He begins by talking about someone caught in sin.. that we should *restore* him *gently* (I feel another digression coming on!). A few sentences later, he gives this important instruction:

Each one should test his own actions…for each one should carry his own load.

It’s similar to the beloved Psalm 139:23-24:

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

What emphasis do we see? It’s all about our relationship with the Lord and the Lord’s examining us. It’s all about personal responsibility. It doesn’t tell us to search another person’s heart – it tells us to search our own. It tells us to carry our own load. It tells us to mind our business! And that doesn’t just mean to stay out of other people’s business (with of course the loving exception of actual, factual sin) but to actively mind our own business. We are not told to search other people’s hearts, but we are told to search our own! Are we applying that in the right proportion?

{step off of soap box : )}

So how do we do this? I mean, really, truly, how? What specifically do we do?

Well, we’re in luck! And *free* luck at that – my favorite kind! : ) ChristianAudio’s free audiobook download this month is all about Hearing God. After all,

“I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind.” ~ Jeremiah 17:10

It is God’s job to search our hearts. We mustn’t give that responsibility – and privilege – to a lesser being.

How to be Right

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How can we be sure we’re right?

I mean – if I perceived something one way, and someone perceives it another – who is right?  Or if I think something should be done one way and someone else thinks it should be done another – who is right?  Like do you wake the sleeping baby to feed him, or do you never wake a sleeping baby?  Or there is always the age old over/under debate!  Who is right?

Well, we’re hanging out with Job, and he was right.  So how can we be like Job?

Now granted, the Lord had some things to say to Job – four chapters worth!  And Job had some repenting to do (Job 42:1-6).  But the Lord affirms that Job was right.  The Lord says to the three friends about Job,

“I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has.”  ~ Job 42:7

We covered the three friends‘ being really wrong last post.  So let’s focus on Job – he was actually right!  Because why?

Because the Lord says so?  Well yes, that is a fine answer.  God says it so we believe it!  But in a similar three-friend-like situation, how would I know if I am right?  After all, I’m not in the Bible – I don’t have any inerrant Word of God written about me!

Let’s try the same answer from a different angle.  Job isn’t right simply because Job is right – Job didn’t come up with some random things and then God decreed that Job’s thoughts are right and the friends are wrong.  Job is right because the things he said agreed with God.

That’s what makes a person right.

When they agree with God.

Because God is always right.

It’s a bit Lincoln-esque:

“Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God’s side, for God is always right.”

If our thoughts for sure don’t agree with God, then of course we’re for sure not right.  While the extreme is obvious, the middle ground is important to remember: if we’re not sure if our thoughts agree with God, then we may not right.

This applies to so many things!  My perception of another person – if it doesn’t align with what God knows of them and their heart, then I’m not right.  The tone with which I think a person wrote an e-mail – if it doesn’t align with what God knows of them and their heart, then I’m not right.  How I think a person should have responded – if it doesn’t algin with what God knows of them and their heart, then I’m not right.  The decision I think a person should make about a non-sin issue – if it doesn’t align with God’s plan for them, then I’m not right.

So how do I know?

How do I know if my thoughts about another person align with God’s?

How do I know if I’m right?

Just a warning here that you may not like this answer.  I mean, how could we possibly know what God wants for them?  If it’s in Scripture, we totally in love and with care share with them our understanding of what the Lord desires.  But if it’s not in Scripture, how do I know if what I think aligns with God?  How do I know if I’m right?

The answer?  I don’t.

I don’t know if I’m right.

And to pretend like I do?  Well, to Job’s friends, the Lord called that ‘folly.’

My heart?  My motives?  My tone?  My decision about a non-sin issue?  I’m not that old!  They aren’t in Scripture!

So unless it’s in Scripture, we best not act like we’re right.

(More specifics on How to be Right next post!)

But ‘their heart is deceitful’!

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We’ve looked at a lot of reasons why *not* to judge.  One of the biggest arguments I hear to defend judging is this:

“But your heart is deceitful.”

The situation would go something like this:

Jimmy approaches Sally and tells her something that he thinks he sees in her – something that negatively defines her character or motives.  Sally is stunned and tries to clarify that he has misperceived the situation and her motives.  Jimmy responds, “Well, Sally, your motives aren’t always as pure as you think.  After all, your heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.”

Hmmmm… is Jimmy spot on?

Jimmy sounds godly by quoting Scripture.  And at first glance, maybe the situation seems like Jimmy should be able to speak about Sally’s heart.

But let’s look a little more deeply.

If it’s true that our heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure (and Scripture says it, so I believe it), then what makes Jimmy’s heart any different from Sally’s?  If that verse applies to Sally’s heart, then why wouldn’t it apply to Jimmy’s as well?  So we’ve got Jimmy’s deceitful heart characterizing Sally’s deceitful heart.   That doesn’t clarify the motives of the heart – it compounds the deceit of the heart! 

Now in some situations, the “Jimmy” of the situation will then say, “But Sally is wrong.  I see this clearly, and she doesn’t.”  Again, if the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure, then how are we to trust that Jimmy’s ‘seeing Sally’s heart clearly’ isn’t deceitful and beyond cure?  Being firmly convinced certainly doesn’t preclude deceit!

So we’ve got the logic argument that compounding deceit makes judgment worse – not better!

Let’s also look at the contextual argument.  Here’s our verse with the verses before it:

5 This is what the Lord says:

“Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who draws strength from mere flesh
and whose heart turns away from the Lord.
6 That person will be like a bush in the wastelands;
they will not see prosperity when it comes.
They will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives.

7 “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
8 They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”

9 The heart is deceitful above all things
 and beyond cure.   Who can understand it?  ~ Jeremiah 17:5-9

The Lord God says not to trust in man.  After all, what man can understand the heart?  Instead, trust in God.

Then check this out – this is the very next verse!

“I the Lord search the heart
and examine the mind,
to reward each person according to their conduct,
according to what their deeds deserve.”  ~ Jeremiah 17:10

The argument that Sally’s heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure does *not* merit Jimmy’s judging it.  The point of the verse is *not* to have another person’s deceitful heart judge yours.  It is *not* to rely on man.

Instead, it is that the Lord searches our hearts.  It is to trust in the Lord!

Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.  ~ Psalm 139:23-24

Our heart is deceitful, so GOD is the one who searches the heart!  His is not deceitful.  It is only from a pure perspective – and He’s the only one with a pure perspective! – that our hearts can be accurately perceived.

Question: What are some other reasons why we shouldn’t defend judging another person with ‘but your heart is deceitful’?

Pretty silly to judge!

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I would be remiss to do a series on judging and not include Romans 14!  And wow is there so much good stuff in here.  I’m tempted just to cut and paste the chapter.  I mean, God is God, and His Word is brilliant, of course! We’ll just hit on a few things pertaining to judging…

… or one!  We could pretty much start – and end! – with verse 4:

Who are you to judge someone else’s servant?

That pretty much hits the nail on the head:  Who am I to judge another’s servant?

Especially when the ‘another’ is God!

To their own master, servants stand or fall.

For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. It is written:

“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, ‘every knee will bow before me; every tongue will acknowledge God.’”

So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.  (v 4, 10-12)

God’s servants answer to Him.  He doesn’t need us to judge them!

I love this summary*:

“It’s God we are answerable to… That’s why Jesus lived and died and then lived again: so that he could be our Master across the entire range of life and death, and free us from the petty tyrannies of each other.”

Do you love that?  “the petty tyrannies of each other”!  It is God to whom we answer, so

“None of us are permitted to insist on our own way in these matters.”

God’s got the judgments – and the judgment seat – taken care of for His servants.  He doesn’t need us to help!

And actually, our judgments are, well, pretty unhelpful.

“So where does that leave you when you criticize a brother? And where does that leave you when you condescend to a sister? I’d say it leaves you looking pretty silly—or worse. Eventually, we’re all going to end up kneeling side by side in the place of judgment, facing God. Your critical and condescending ways aren’t going to improve your position there one bit. Read it for yourself in Scripture:

‘As I live and breathe,’ God says, ‘every knee will bow before me; Every tongue will tell the honest truth that I and only I am God.’”

So our judgments don’t help us.  And they also don’t help our brother or sister in Christ.  Instead, as we look at verses 13-21, they cause a big ol’ mess.

1.     Judging makes their life more difficult.

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way. (v13)

   2.     Judging drags them down by finding fault.

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. (v19; Message instructs with the inverse)

     3.     Judging makes us no longer a companion with them in love.

If your brother is distressed because of [whatever the non-Scripture issue is], you are no longer acting in love. (v16)

  4.     Judging wrecks God’s work among us.

Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of [whatever the non-Scripture issue is]. (v20)

That certainly doesn’t sound like anything that is beneficial to the kingdom!

So if our judging is actually pretty destructive, and since God’s got the judging taken care of,

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. (v13)

Amen?

So we leave the judging to God.  After all, He is the perfect Judge!  And I love that in His judgment, He’s rallying for His servants:

To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand. (v4)

As the Lord rallies, so shall we.  Instead of judging, we can engage in things that are beneficial for the kingdom.

  1.     We use our energy to build up His servants.

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. (v19)

     2.     We single-mindedly serve our Master! 

So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.  For the kingdom of God is …a matter of …righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.  (v12, 17-18)

We’ve got our hands full just taking care of our own life before God!

* The summaries are from the Message.  I know some people don’t love the Message, but please be assured I am *not* relying on it as inspired text.  Just like commentaries can provide insightful perspective at times, the Message can at times provide perspective as well.

What I would love to change

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I so wish I could change it.

I so wish I could change one of the recurring themes in interactions involving judging.  I just love thinking about how much cheerier the world would be if it were different!

This is what I wish we wouldn’t miss out on ~

Judging misses an opportunity to care.

Take this story, for example…

Mindy is hanging out in the church lobby waiting for service to start.  Oh yeah!  she thinks.  Here comes Sarah, my small group leader! 

Um… but wait. 

Sarah races by Mindy with her hand up covering her face.

Um, really?  Mindy thinks.  How rude!  She’s my small group leader, and she didn’t even have the common courtesy to say hi.  And then she put her hand up to cover her face?!  I’m not two years old.  I know you’re still there.  If you don’t want to talk to me, then just tell me.  If you don’t want to be friends, there are more mature ways to let me know than to pretend like you don’t see me and that I can’t see you in the church lobby.  You clearly don’t want me in your small group. 

And on top of all that, Mindy thinks, you’re my small group leader!  This is no way for a small group leader to act.  I should find a staff person and let them know how rude my small group leader is being.  She is certainly not reflecting Christ’s love.

So that’s what Mindy thinks.  Now this is what’s going on in Sarah’s world…

Sarah is on her way to church.  She’s putzing along in traffic, all the while praying for the girls in her group.  She adores those ladies.

As she walks into church, she greets the guy cleaning the windows.  He gets startled, and oops!  Window cleaner spray goes right in her eye.  She jerks and rubs her eye… but apparently too harshly.  Her contact lens scratches her eye, and as she’s rubbing, it goes who-knows-where on her eyeball.  Ouch!  Her eye is on fire from the combination of the chemicals, the scratch, and now the super awkward – and painful – location of her contact lens.  With her hand clutching her eye, she races towards the bathroom hoping to get some relief by flushing her eye out with water.  It’s kind of hard to see and navigate through the crowd.  She prays, Lord, it would be nice if someone saw me and could come help.

Yikes, right?

Mindy feels like she has quite the case.  But does she?  When she runs her thoughts through Philippians 4:8, how will she fare?

Now what if Mindy – instead of judging and critiquing – chose instead to take captive her thoughts?  What if she chose to consider palliating circumstances?  What if she chose to not let judging and critiquing distract – or usurp – her love for her sister?  What if she had chosen instead of judging to care?

We have such a powerful opportunity as believers for our love for one another to be a testimony of Christ.  Yet judging or critiquing often causes us to miss an opportunity to care.  It can be such a sinful distraction from Christ’s call in our lives to love one another!

Simply being aware of this can keep us watchful for sin and Satan’s sneaky ways!  It can be a reminder when a judgmental thought enters our mind to ask, “Is there a way I could show love here?  Is my judging causing me to miss an opportunity to care?”

The Lord was gracious to use this in a powerfully humbling way in my life recently.  I can’t wait to tell you about it next time!

Palliate!

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So I learned a new word today: palliating.

I was reading a commentary on Matthew 7:1’s “Judge not lest ye be judged.”  Barnes’ Notes on the Bible explains judging as, among other things, “the habit of forming a judgment …without an allowance for every palliating circumstance.”

So maybe you’re more of a lexicomane than I.  {Do you like that?  It’s another kind of fun word I learned today : ) – apparently it’s up and coming.}  Anyways, I wasn’t really sure what palliating meant… so I wasn’t really sure if I was in the habit of doing it or not.

Good ol’ Webster tells me that palliating basically means extenuating or mitigating; it can lessen the severity of something (often a disease).  So Barnes’ challenge is not to form judgments without allowing for every extenuating circumstance.

Re-framed positively, his encouragement is to first consider every possible circumstance before judging.

So if I am frustrated with someone, I should consider

  • What may have contributed to their action?
  • What else is going on in their life?
  • How might they have perceived this?
  • Whom do I know them to be?
  • How would their God-given gifts affect their handling of the situation?
  • How would their God-given personality affect their handling of the situation?
  • How would their spiritual maturity affect their response to the situation?
  • What other stressors in their life should I be considering?
  • What other situations in their life may frame their actions?
  • What may have been their godly intent?
  • Does the timing of the situation play into this at all?
  • Does the location of the situation affect it at all?
  • Do the others involved affect it at all?
  • What might their emotions or feelings have been at the time?

It’s also helpful to consider me in the equation:

  • How does my background affect how I perceive their actions?
  • How does my personality affect how I perceive them?
  • What else might be going on in my life that may affect my relationship with them?
  • What might I not fully understand about this situation?

And perhaps most importantly,

  • Lord, what else am I missing?

Just some brainstorms!  This certainly isn’t intended to be an exhaustive list or a checklist, but these types of questions can help us think through a situation and consider it from all angles.  Considering all possible mitigating circumstances can help keep us from judging unfairly… from judging in an ungodly manner.

So let’s go forth and palliate!

Or maybe this is a better palliating campaign slogan:  Be a pal and palliate!

[ Sorry to those of you whose cheese-meters just exploded : )]

Question:  What questions and considerations help you palliate?

One of my favorite things about our marriage

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Today my husband and I celebrate 9 years of marriage!  The Lord has been so gracious.

There are certainly other areas of our lives that have been filled with challenges, but He has been so gracious in our marriage.  And I am so grateful.  What more could a girl ask for?

Dave did a little impromptu dance in the middle of our wedding ceremony. It was hilarious :)

So we’ve only been doing this marriage thing for 9 years so far.  We clearly have a ways to go.  And for as prepared as I was for this whole ‘oneness’ thing to reveal more deeply the good – and the bad – in my mate, I’m still waiting for the latter.  So I clearly can only speak from so much of a vantage point.

But one of the things I love about our marriage – and one of the things that I think has been such a blessing – is a paradigm the Lord has been gracious to lay on our hearts.

Where the Bible is clear, we will be adamant.
Where the Bible doesn’t speak, we allow freedom.

Now this is actually part of our church’s position on doctrine… but we find the practical application in marriage and relationships super helpful ~ and freeing!!

Has the Lord said it?  Then we do our best to be adamant about it in our relationship and in our lives.  But if the Lord hasn’t spoken about it, then there is freedom.  If the Lord doesn’t find it important enough to speak on, why would we be crazy enough to allow it a foothold in our marriage?  Marriage is important to the Lord (Matthew 19:6; Ephesians 5:22-31).  Oneness is important to the Lord (John 17).  So why allow something that isn’t important to the Lord interfere with something that is?

Let’s take Christmas shopping for example.  I personally think August is a great time to get our Christmas shopping done.  My husband would rather do other things in August.  He thinks the week before Christmas is a great time to do our Christmas shopping.  Is it worth fighting over?  Well, is it in Scripture?  Nope.  So is it worth fighting over?  Nope.  Is it worth my calling him a bunch of names and telling him he’s a procrastinator?  Nope.  In fact, buying Christmas presents isn’t even in Scripture.  But encouraging one another daily is.  How am I doing on that?  Respecting your husband is.  How am I doing on that?  For me, personally, there are plenty of things in Scripture to work on – I don’t need to make up additional things!  And while my husband is the most godly man I know, I think he would still say there are things in Scripture for him to work on.  He certainly doesn’t need me to make up additional things for him to do!

Or let’s take the laundry for example.  I am perfectly fine with throwing everything together – whites and colors – on cold.  That works for me.  My husband, however, thinks that makes his white undershirts less bright.  Hmmmm… is it in the Bible?  Nope.  So is it worth fighting over?  Nope.  Is one of us right?  Nope.  It’s just different approaches.  So we do a little maneuvering to figure out how to help our approaches dance together.  It’s not about ‘winning’ or ‘being right’ or ‘I told you so.’  If it’s not in Scripture, we allow freedom.  So we have some options.  One option is that I am glad to do any laundry that he doesn’t mind being all mixed together.  Another option is that I can choose to do his laundry separate to keep his shirts white.  And I’m sure there are other options.   What I chose is that my husband doesn’t ask very much of me, and I love knowing things that make him happy, and this makes him happy, and I’d like to do this for him, so I choose to serve in this way.  So we (honestly, probably like most houses in America) now sort our laundry between lights and darks.

Or let’s take joining a small group.  Ohhhh…. I’m inching closer to spiritual things here.  To things that actually are in Scripture.  When we were first married, I thought we should be in a couples small group.  Dave didn’t.  He thought we were too busy.  He thought we should focus on considering our current priorities and maybe consider a small group down the road.  My professional job was small groups.  As much as I tried not to let my job creep into this, it kind of felt a little personal: I can’t get my own husband to join a small group!  Yep, there were all kinds of possible tensions and potential explosions under the surface.  So I prayed about it.  And I wrestled with the Lord about it.  And I asked Him what to do.  And the Lord was gracious to bring this to mind:  “If I had a list of things for which I was going to bless a marriage, that wouldn’t be on there.”

Weird, huh?

Ok, let me first point out that what I felt like the Lord impressed on me started with ‘if.’  I do *not* believe we serve a legalistic, check-list God.  I believe we serve a loving, passionate, personal God!

So I pondered what I felt like He impressed on me for a while.  I mean, joining a small group sounds spiritual.  It sounds like something the Lord would want us to do.  It sure sounds like something I would be right about. : )  But you know what?  “Join a small group” is not in Scripture.  Even for someone who worked in ministry on a small groups staff, I had to admit this.  Are its principles in Scripture?  Well, sure.  Does the Lord want us to experience the Body?  Absolutely.  Does He want us in His Word?  Absolutely.   But does He mandate that every married couple must be in a small group their first year of marriage?  Nope.

So then I started thinking, “Ok, Lord.  If joining a small group isn’t on your ‘list’ of things for which you would bless a marriage, what is?”

And the Lord brought this to mind, “Respect your husband.  Honor his leadership.”

I love when the Lord is so gracious to steer me in His perfect direction.

So it was settled.  I have an amazing husband who values the Body and values God’s Word.  But he also values sanity and waiting on the Lord’s timing and direction.  And so we did.  And eventually, in God’s perfect timing – and with my husband’s godly leadership – we joined a small group.

And I believe, so the Lord blessed our marriage.

Where the Bible is clear, we will be adamant.
Where the Bible doesn’t speak, we allow freedom.

It’s been one of my favorite things about our marriage so far.  Focusing on the things that are in Scripture – and being free from imposing other things that are not in Scripture – has helped give so much clarity, direction, freedom, life, vitality, and love to our marriage.  It gives a safety, a peace, and a security that I just love.  We know what we’re adamant about, and we know where there is freedom.  And the life and joy that comes from that has been such blessing to me.

Happy 9th Anniversary, Love!!  I am honored to call you my husband.

Question: What is one of your favorite things about your marriage?  You can leave a comment below.  

Who knew calculus had eternal value?!

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“Judge not.”

Well, then, what are we supposed to do?  Are we then to be laissez-faire?

Not at all.

When I was in high school, our calculus teacher loved to give a Christmas present – well, he called it a present.  We sure didn’t!

It was a Christmas take home exam with 20 questions.  Yuck, right?  The good news was that we could work on it in groups and as a class, so our senior year Christmas break consisted of a lot of calculus parties.  (Is that an oxymoron?)  That’s how we celebrated Jesus’ birthday: doing calculus!

So we all worked together.  We divided and conquered.  We learned and brainstormed and sharpened one another and did our best to conquer this crazy ‘present.’

And as we were nearing the end and getting ready to turn it in, one person found an error, so we starting calling each other so everyone could fix it.  (Yes, we picked up a phone and called.  No texts.  No group e-mails – this was pre-e-mail days.  Weird, huh?)

We were all so grateful that someone realized we were doing something incorrectly and made us all aware so that, if we wanted, we could change our approach.  And of course we wanted!  We wanted to do our best before the ‘judge.’

So with all this group work going on, you can imagine what the grades looked like.  We all pretty much got the same grade.

Pretty much.

One member of our class figured out we did something wrong on a problem.  But he didn’t tell anyone else.  He just turned it in.

So when our teacher handed back the tests, he announced that everyone pretty much got the same grade.

Pretty much.

Except for this one student.

He did better.

{sink}

You could just feel the stomachs drop in the room.

{uggh}

And the collective gaze that pondered, “Why didn’t you tell us?”

I mean, 5 points is 5 points.  I’m not sure anyone really cared about having 5 more points… as much as they cared about a teammate who knew we were doing something incorrectly.  A teammate who knew we would submit our Christmas break’s life before the ‘judge.’  A teammate who knew the ‘judge’ would find us at fault.  A teammate who knew we could be sharpened – and knew how to sharpen us – and who did nothing about it.

We wanted to do our best before the ‘judge’ and reflect all he’d taught us as best we could.  We had all spent so much time together as a team sharpening one another.  We were a team. Betrayal may be too strong of a word, but it was not a happy moment.

It was, however, valuable.

When I am aware of something that can sharpen another person, that can help us be a stronger team, that can help us better reflect our Teacher, that can help us stand ‘perfect’ before our Judge, oh dear!  I certainly don’t want them to look at me one day with an incredulous gaze of “Why didn’t you tell me?”

If I love them, and I want what is best for them, and I want what is best for us, and I want what is the best reflection of our Teacher for His glory, then yes, indeed!  You better believe I want to tell them.

Not as a judge.

Not to condemn them.

Not because I think I’m better than them.  I most certainly am not!

But because I seem to be aware of something that can be helpful before the Judge.  And because out of love and care and compassion, I want what is best for them, for us all, and for His glory.

So I share to make them aware.  At best – at times – as a humble coach.

So one day when it all adds up, we can thank each other for being a teammate.  A teammate who sharpened us.  A teammate to whom we can say, “Thank you for telling me!”  Not because it gets us more points.  But because it draws us closer to the likeness of the Judge.

And nothing is more glorious than that!  Exponentially glorious, that is : )

Why we’re called Christians – and not Godians!

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Matthew 7:1-2 is fascinating to look at in the Greek. I’ve color coded below the words that are the same. The ones that begin with κρί are judge or judging. The ones that begin with μέτρ refer to a measure.

1 Μὴ κρίνετε, ἵνα μὴ κριθῆτε· 2 ἐν ᾧ γὰρ κρίματι κρίνετε κριθήσεσθε, καὶ ἐν ᾧ μέτρῳ μετρεῖτε μετρηθήσεται ὑμῖν.

In these two verses, judge is used five times – three right in a row. Measure is used three times – all right in a row. The only other words in these sentences are ‘little’ words like modifiers or conjunctions – not, so that, for, in what, and, and to you. So it seems that either Matthew temporarily had a vocabulary shortage, or he’s really hitting this subject hard!

These two verses with all their repetitious words translate

Do not judge, that you will not be judged. For by what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and by what measure you measure, it will be measured to you.

Boy, he really hammers it!

Our previous posts have explored some of the poignancy of this passage and why he really hammers it. They are challenging!

I came across a commentary that really seems to capture the reason for such intensity about judging. Warning: read at your own risk!

…such persons [who judge] take upon them the place of God, usurp his prerogative, as if they knew the hearts and states of men; and therefore will have judgment without mercy at the hands of God. (from Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible)

Um… yikes. {swallow}

I think I need to read that again to really get it:

…such persons [who judge] take upon them the place of God, usurp his prerogative, as if they knew the hearts and states of men; and therefore will have judgment without mercy at the hands of God.

Not even Christ came to judge the world! After the ever-popular John 3:16, John furthers that Christ did not come to judge the world, but that through Him we might be saved! Here it is in the Greek:

οὐ γὰρ ἀπέστειλεν ὁ θεὸς τὸν υἱὸν αὐτοῦ εἰς τὸν κόσμον ἵνα κρίνῃ τὸν κόσμον ἀλλ᾽ ἵνα σωθῇ ὁ κόσμος δι᾽ αὐτοῦ

The translation is

For God did not send his Son into the world in order that He may judge the world, but in order that the world may be saved through Him.

I’m sure you caught the κρί in the verb. It’s the same word for ‘judge’ that we’re talking about in Matthew 7:1-2.

So if God did not send His perfect Son to judge, then, um, do we really think He sent us to judge? If Christ didn’t even climb in the judge’s seat on earth, what in the world would we be doing there?

We’re called Christians, right? Not Godians. : ) And for good reason! We are to be like Christ – and not like God (the Father). We are to be like Christ – not sent to judge the world. We’re *not* to be like God – taking His place as if we knew the hearts and states of men.

I vote we evade the ‘judgment without mercy at the hands of God.’ I vote we love and coach each other towards Christ-likeness – without judging the hearts of men.

Are you in?