Tag Archives: God

But ‘their heart is deceitful’!

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We’ve looked at a lot of reasons why *not* to judge.  One of the biggest arguments I hear to defend judging is this:

“But your heart is deceitful.”

The situation would go something like this:

Jimmy approaches Sally and tells her something that he thinks he sees in her – something that negatively defines her character or motives.  Sally is stunned and tries to clarify that he has misperceived the situation and her motives.  Jimmy responds, “Well, Sally, your motives aren’t always as pure as you think.  After all, your heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.”

Hmmmm… is Jimmy spot on?

Jimmy sounds godly by quoting Scripture.  And at first glance, maybe the situation seems like Jimmy should be able to speak about Sally’s heart.

But let’s look a little more deeply.

If it’s true that our heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure (and Scripture says it, so I believe it), then what makes Jimmy’s heart any different from Sally’s?  If that verse applies to Sally’s heart, then why wouldn’t it apply to Jimmy’s as well?  So we’ve got Jimmy’s deceitful heart characterizing Sally’s deceitful heart.   That doesn’t clarify the motives of the heart – it compounds the deceit of the heart! 

Now in some situations, the “Jimmy” of the situation will then say, “But Sally is wrong.  I see this clearly, and she doesn’t.”  Again, if the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure, then how are we to trust that Jimmy’s ‘seeing Sally’s heart clearly’ isn’t deceitful and beyond cure?  Being firmly convinced certainly doesn’t preclude deceit!

So we’ve got the logic argument that compounding deceit makes judgment worse – not better!

Let’s also look at the contextual argument.  Here’s our verse with the verses before it:

5 This is what the Lord says:

“Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who draws strength from mere flesh
and whose heart turns away from the Lord.
6 That person will be like a bush in the wastelands;
they will not see prosperity when it comes.
They will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives.

7 “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
8 They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”

9 The heart is deceitful above all things
 and beyond cure.   Who can understand it?  ~ Jeremiah 17:5-9

The Lord God says not to trust in man.  After all, what man can understand the heart?  Instead, trust in God.

Then check this out – this is the very next verse!

“I the Lord search the heart
and examine the mind,
to reward each person according to their conduct,
according to what their deeds deserve.”  ~ Jeremiah 17:10

The argument that Sally’s heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure does *not* merit Jimmy’s judging it.  The point of the verse is *not* to have another person’s deceitful heart judge yours.  It is *not* to rely on man.

Instead, it is that the Lord searches our hearts.  It is to trust in the Lord!

Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.  ~ Psalm 139:23-24

Our heart is deceitful, so GOD is the one who searches the heart!  His is not deceitful.  It is only from a pure perspective – and He’s the only one with a pure perspective! – that our hearts can be accurately perceived.

Question: What are some other reasons why we shouldn’t defend judging another person with ‘but your heart is deceitful’?

Pretty silly to judge!

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I would be remiss to do a series on judging and not include Romans 14!  And wow is there so much good stuff in here.  I’m tempted just to cut and paste the chapter.  I mean, God is God, and His Word is brilliant, of course! We’ll just hit on a few things pertaining to judging…

… or one!  We could pretty much start – and end! – with verse 4:

Who are you to judge someone else’s servant?

That pretty much hits the nail on the head:  Who am I to judge another’s servant?

Especially when the ‘another’ is God!

To their own master, servants stand or fall.

For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. It is written:

“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, ‘every knee will bow before me; every tongue will acknowledge God.’”

So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.  (v 4, 10-12)

God’s servants answer to Him.  He doesn’t need us to judge them!

I love this summary*:

“It’s God we are answerable to… That’s why Jesus lived and died and then lived again: so that he could be our Master across the entire range of life and death, and free us from the petty tyrannies of each other.”

Do you love that?  “the petty tyrannies of each other”!  It is God to whom we answer, so

“None of us are permitted to insist on our own way in these matters.”

God’s got the judgments – and the judgment seat – taken care of for His servants.  He doesn’t need us to help!

And actually, our judgments are, well, pretty unhelpful.

“So where does that leave you when you criticize a brother? And where does that leave you when you condescend to a sister? I’d say it leaves you looking pretty silly—or worse. Eventually, we’re all going to end up kneeling side by side in the place of judgment, facing God. Your critical and condescending ways aren’t going to improve your position there one bit. Read it for yourself in Scripture:

‘As I live and breathe,’ God says, ‘every knee will bow before me; Every tongue will tell the honest truth that I and only I am God.’”

So our judgments don’t help us.  And they also don’t help our brother or sister in Christ.  Instead, as we look at verses 13-21, they cause a big ol’ mess.

1.     Judging makes their life more difficult.

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way. (v13)

   2.     Judging drags them down by finding fault.

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. (v19; Message instructs with the inverse)

     3.     Judging makes us no longer a companion with them in love.

If your brother is distressed because of [whatever the non-Scripture issue is], you are no longer acting in love. (v16)

  4.     Judging wrecks God’s work among us.

Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of [whatever the non-Scripture issue is]. (v20)

That certainly doesn’t sound like anything that is beneficial to the kingdom!

So if our judging is actually pretty destructive, and since God’s got the judging taken care of,

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. (v13)

Amen?

So we leave the judging to God.  After all, He is the perfect Judge!  And I love that in His judgment, He’s rallying for His servants:

To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand. (v4)

As the Lord rallies, so shall we.  Instead of judging, we can engage in things that are beneficial for the kingdom.

  1.     We use our energy to build up His servants.

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. (v19)

     2.     We single-mindedly serve our Master! 

So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.  For the kingdom of God is …a matter of …righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.  (v12, 17-18)

We’ve got our hands full just taking care of our own life before God!

* The summaries are from the Message.  I know some people don’t love the Message, but please be assured I am *not* relying on it as inspired text.  Just like commentaries can provide insightful perspective at times, the Message can at times provide perspective as well.

Palliate!

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So I learned a new word today: palliating.

I was reading a commentary on Matthew 7:1’s “Judge not lest ye be judged.”  Barnes’ Notes on the Bible explains judging as, among other things, “the habit of forming a judgment …without an allowance for every palliating circumstance.”

So maybe you’re more of a lexicomane than I.  {Do you like that?  It’s another kind of fun word I learned today : ) – apparently it’s up and coming.}  Anyways, I wasn’t really sure what palliating meant… so I wasn’t really sure if I was in the habit of doing it or not.

Good ol’ Webster tells me that palliating basically means extenuating or mitigating; it can lessen the severity of something (often a disease).  So Barnes’ challenge is not to form judgments without allowing for every extenuating circumstance.

Re-framed positively, his encouragement is to first consider every possible circumstance before judging.

So if I am frustrated with someone, I should consider

  • What may have contributed to their action?
  • What else is going on in their life?
  • How might they have perceived this?
  • Whom do I know them to be?
  • How would their God-given gifts affect their handling of the situation?
  • How would their God-given personality affect their handling of the situation?
  • How would their spiritual maturity affect their response to the situation?
  • What other stressors in their life should I be considering?
  • What other situations in their life may frame their actions?
  • What may have been their godly intent?
  • Does the timing of the situation play into this at all?
  • Does the location of the situation affect it at all?
  • Do the others involved affect it at all?
  • What might their emotions or feelings have been at the time?

It’s also helpful to consider me in the equation:

  • How does my background affect how I perceive their actions?
  • How does my personality affect how I perceive them?
  • What else might be going on in my life that may affect my relationship with them?
  • What might I not fully understand about this situation?

And perhaps most importantly,

  • Lord, what else am I missing?

Just some brainstorms!  This certainly isn’t intended to be an exhaustive list or a checklist, but these types of questions can help us think through a situation and consider it from all angles.  Considering all possible mitigating circumstances can help keep us from judging unfairly… from judging in an ungodly manner.

So let’s go forth and palliate!

Or maybe this is a better palliating campaign slogan:  Be a pal and palliate!

[ Sorry to those of you whose cheese-meters just exploded : )]

Question:  What questions and considerations help you palliate?

Our Team Name

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My husband and I just love the team name concept!  It’s so valuable. So what is our team name?

Well, what God has joined together – our cord of three strands – is my husband, me, and the Lord.  So we tried to think of something that reflects that.

We also wanted a team name that reflects a verse we just love:

O magnify the Lord with me, And let us exalt His name together.  ~ Psalm 34:3

It’s our goal in our marriage.

So we started brainstorming.  And the Lord brought something fun to mind.

When I first became a believer, I learned the phrase soli deo Gloria.  It means ‘to God alone be the glory.’  Kind of fun – Bach and Handel used it at the end of the masterpieces to give God credit for His work through them.

(GFH = George Frideric Handel)

Whenever I would read something in Scripture that just put me in awe of the Lord, I wrote ‘SDG’ next to it.  It was kind of like my ‘Amen!’  Like the first time I read the Great Commission – I was totally awed that the Lord entrusted us to carry forth His Gospel.  Soli Deo Gloria!

We love its meaning – to God alone be the glory.

We love that it reflects the verse that the Lord impressed upon us – to exalt His name together.

And we love that it just so happens that Soli Deo Gloria’s initials are, well, obviously, SDG.  My first name starts with S.  My husband’s starts with D.  And God’s starts with… well, again, obvious! : )

So that’s what we ended up with as our team name: SDG.  We love it!  (I don’t love that my name comes first, but we love everything else about it!)  It reminds us that we are teammates, that we are unified, that we are joined together by the Lord and with the Lord, and that our team’s goal is His glory.

It’s such a great reminder for us that we have it on our fridge…

SDG magnets

Yes, it’s weird that God’s is pink – but it’s better than my husband’s being pink! : )

We have it in a frame…

We have it etched on the glasses we use to celebrate our anniversary …

We had it on our wedding programs, and we have it on our luggage tags (thanks, Dad!), our ice bucket (thanks, sis!), and anyplace else it can remind us that we are a team.

Unified – by the Lord.  Strong – because of our unity in Him.  And by God’s grace, we do our best to let no one separate us… especially ourselves!  It has truly been such a blessing in our marriage and in our lives.  Soli Deo Gloria!

Question: What is your team name?  Or if you don’t have one yet, let me know when you do!  I’d love to hear it!

A special thanks to 1313 photography for the fun bride and groom basketball shot!  www.1313blog.com

Why we’re called Christians – and not Godians!

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Matthew 7:1-2 is fascinating to look at in the Greek. I’ve color coded below the words that are the same. The ones that begin with κρί are judge or judging. The ones that begin with μέτρ refer to a measure.

1 Μὴ κρίνετε, ἵνα μὴ κριθῆτε· 2 ἐν ᾧ γὰρ κρίματι κρίνετε κριθήσεσθε, καὶ ἐν ᾧ μέτρῳ μετρεῖτε μετρηθήσεται ὑμῖν.

In these two verses, judge is used five times – three right in a row. Measure is used three times – all right in a row. The only other words in these sentences are ‘little’ words like modifiers or conjunctions – not, so that, for, in what, and, and to you. So it seems that either Matthew temporarily had a vocabulary shortage, or he’s really hitting this subject hard!

These two verses with all their repetitious words translate

Do not judge, that you will not be judged. For by what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and by what measure you measure, it will be measured to you.

Boy, he really hammers it!

Our previous posts have explored some of the poignancy of this passage and why he really hammers it. They are challenging!

I came across a commentary that really seems to capture the reason for such intensity about judging. Warning: read at your own risk!

…such persons [who judge] take upon them the place of God, usurp his prerogative, as if they knew the hearts and states of men; and therefore will have judgment without mercy at the hands of God. (from Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible)

Um… yikes. {swallow}

I think I need to read that again to really get it:

…such persons [who judge] take upon them the place of God, usurp his prerogative, as if they knew the hearts and states of men; and therefore will have judgment without mercy at the hands of God.

Not even Christ came to judge the world! After the ever-popular John 3:16, John furthers that Christ did not come to judge the world, but that through Him we might be saved! Here it is in the Greek:

οὐ γὰρ ἀπέστειλεν ὁ θεὸς τὸν υἱὸν αὐτοῦ εἰς τὸν κόσμον ἵνα κρίνῃ τὸν κόσμον ἀλλ᾽ ἵνα σωθῇ ὁ κόσμος δι᾽ αὐτοῦ

The translation is

For God did not send his Son into the world in order that He may judge the world, but in order that the world may be saved through Him.

I’m sure you caught the κρί in the verb. It’s the same word for ‘judge’ that we’re talking about in Matthew 7:1-2.

So if God did not send His perfect Son to judge, then, um, do we really think He sent us to judge? If Christ didn’t even climb in the judge’s seat on earth, what in the world would we be doing there?

We’re called Christians, right? Not Godians. : ) And for good reason! We are to be like Christ – and not like God (the Father). We are to be like Christ – not sent to judge the world. We’re *not* to be like God – taking His place as if we knew the hearts and states of men.

I vote we evade the ‘judgment without mercy at the hands of God.’ I vote we love and coach each other towards Christ-likeness – without judging the hearts of men.

Are you in?

the Man in the Mirror

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I promise we won’t stay on A Tale of Three Kings forever!  Just one last post. : )

I was thinking the other day about how it is probably one of the most influential books in my life!  The Bible is of course #1.  Then there is of course a huge gap since nothing really compares!  But after that huge, huge gap, #2 for me is Boundaries.  At two significant junctures in my life, it’s been incredibly influential.  A Tale of Three Kings is my #3.  It’s definitely been hugely impactful for me (which I’m guessing you can tell since I’m *still* writing about it!).

What are your most influential books?  I look forward to hearing!

spears and armor

Until then… here is our last post on A Tale of Three Kings!  It’s some Q and A from the book.

Just a warning – it’s very humbling!  What do we do when we are faced with a Saul? Someone who seems like they are out to get us?  Someone who is throwing spears at us?

Oooooohhhh…. Sometimes we just want to get them!!  We want to get them so badly!!  But that’s not David’s approach.  David’s approach resembles a great message of – well, yes, a perhaps questionable pop icon.

Michael Jackson

When someone is throwing spears at you, instead of going after them, we may need to – {swallow} – look at the man (or woman!) in the mirror.

Q:        Just what does a person do in the middle of a spear-throwing contest?

A:        You get stabbed to death.  God is looking at the King Saul in you.  He must be annihilated.  David the sheepherder would have grown up to become King Saul II, except that God cut away the Saul inside of David’s heart.  That operation, by the way, took years and was a brutalizing experience that almost killed the patient.

Q:        What were the scalpel and tongs God used to remove this inner Saul?

A:        God used the outer Saul.  David was virtually destroyed in the process, but this had to be. Otherwise the Saul in him would have survived. He bore the crucible of humiliation. Because of this he was deeply wounded.  His whole inner being was mutilated.  His personality was altered.  When the gore was over, David was barely recognizable.

Q:        Who likes this answer?

A:        None of us do.  Except God.

Yikes, right!

I pray for all of us who are going through a season of bearing the ‘crucible of humiliation.’  It is a difficult, lonely road.  I pray we would rest in the Lord’s perseverance, peace, and strength.  I pray the Holy Spirit inside of us would ever comfort and empower us with His presence.  Though it may feel at times like spears are being thrown at us, I pray we would remember that God is transforming us through this.  He is working in our lives for His glory.

Q:        What is the effect?

A:        As David related to his God and to the man over him at that time long ago…so now David will also relate to his God and to the man under him.

Q:        Who likes David’s responses?

A:        Angels dreamed in the afterglow that God might yet be able to give his authority to a trustworthy vessel.

Q:        What does this world need: gifted men and women, outwardly empowered?  Or individuals who are broken, inwardly transformed?

A:        (You get to answer this one!)

Remember…

The passing of time, and the way you react to that leader—be he David or Saul—reveals a great deal about *you*.

Holding loosely to our thrones

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So what does it look like to hold loosely to our thrones?

The throne is not mine. Not to have, not to take, not to protect, and not to keep.

What does it look like to live out this mindset in our daily lives?  I just love this true life story!

In January, my hard drive crashed.  Uggghhh!  You know the feeling, right?

All my files were gone.  Gone!

And if that weren’t bad enough, it crashed last fall, too.  Yikes – did I have any files left?!

Our IT department worked and worked on my hard drive.  The Director of our IT Department, Marvin, personally spent several hours on it.  He even tried freezing it!  (Who knew you could do that?)  But nothing.  Nada.  It wouldn’t even spin.

My husband has had some success recovering hard drives and thought maybe he’d try to give it a go.  So I asked Marvin for a favor – could I borrow the hard drive?

Now that’s a big question – especially after he had personally spent so much time trying to recover it.  He and his team are talented, they’d worked hard on it, and they’d done all they could do.  Marvin is an effective leader and a competent IT professional.  What in the world was left to try?

Now Marvin could have sat on his ‘throne’ as the Director of IT and told me ‘no.’  He could have hidden behind some policy or rule – or perhaps some pride.  He could have taken offense or taken my request as a personal insult.

But he didn’t.

And I just love how the Lord honored Marvin’s holding loosely to his throne.

Marvin let me borrow the hard drive.  He handed it to me and asked what I was going to do with it.

I responded, “Pray!”

The next morning in my devotional time, I read,

All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”

~ 1 Peter 5:5

I asked the Lord to search my heart and let me know where I was being proud and where I could honor Him more by being more humble.  I was kind of expecting a response about me! : )  But out of left field, I felt like the Lord said, “I’m going to honor Marvin for his humility.”

I hadn’t really thought about it like that.  You know, no matter how nicely I asked for the hard drive, it still takes a humble leader to let a non-professional IT person take a go at what they, as professionals, had already tried to solve.  It truly takes a humble, Good to Great Level 5, Christ-like servant leader to hand over the hard drive and say, “Yes. I’m glad for you to try.”

And the Lord was faithful.  He honored Marvin’s humility, and he honored our prayers.  My husband plugged it in, and it worked!  Not only did it spin, but he was able to recover a majority of the drive.

Crazy, right?

I just love that the Lord, in a sense, still used Marvin to fix the hard drive.  It just wasn’t via his talents.  It was in honor of his character.  It was in honor of his willingness to hold loosely to his throne.  And through that, God accomplished His plans and is glorified.

Being a David

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A Tale of Three Kings has truly helped David to become my favorite Bible characters (other than Jesus, of course!).

From King Saul’s trying to kill the already anointed David … to David’s finally becoming king … to his son Absalom’s trying to overthrow his own father, David held loosely to the throne and tightly to the Lord.

King David from The Brick TestamentThat mindset looks like this:

Someone trying to convince David:  “But you know that Absalom should not be king!”

David:  “Do I?  No man knows.  Only God knows, and he has not spoken.”

David could have tried to stop Absalom.  But could he do it in a way in which he could have remained true to himself, loyal to his integrity, consistent with whom the Lord called Him to be, and faithful to God?  David didn’t think so.  To hold tightly to his throne, he would have had to become someone else. And he’d been down that road before.  He’d seen what happens when he pursues his desires instead of the Lord’s.  He’d seen the mess it creates and the person he becomes.

Now, faced with the threat of Absalom’s overthrow, he didn’t want to go down that road again of his selfish pursuit.  He didn’t want his way to be his personal plans of regal gain. After all, isn’t that what Saul and Absalom were all about?

If I stop him, will I still be a David?  If I stop him, will I not be a Saul?  To stop him, I must become either a Saul or an Absalom.

It is better that I be defeated, even killed, than to learn the ways of… a Saul or the ways of an Absalom.

Through these challenges to his reign, he remained committed to being a ‘David.’

In my old age I intend to be David still.  Even if it costs me a throne, a kingdom, and perhaps my head.

He wanted his way to be the true King’s way.

But the Sauls and Absaloms of the world seem so powerful!  Do we really let our adversaries simply run their course?  Do we really let them potentially prevail?

That is an important question.  And I just love David’s perspective:

“You underestimate your adversary,” retorted Abishai.
“You underestimate my God,” replied David serenely.

A Tale of Three Kings reminds me that no matter the circumstances, we must be Davids.  We must stay true to the way of the Lord in seeking and doing the will of the Lord.  To become a Saul or an Absalom in attempts to preserve the Lord’s will is the way of defeat.  To honor the Lord is the Lord’s will.

So the outcome is the Lord’s.  But the process is ours to honor: To be a David – even if it means losing the throne.

Praying for us, that the will of the true King stays serenely on our thrones!

Whose throne is it?

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There are so many things that have been impactful to me from A Tale of Three Kings!

We talked a little about the beginnings of David’s reign last post. At the other end of David’s reign was Absalom, his son who tried to usurp him. This man just couldn’t catch a break!

throne chairDavid was advised to thwart Absalom’s overthrow. Sounds noble, right?

Not to David.

David desired God’s plan, which may include seasons on the throne and off the throne.  After all, it’s not his throne – or Saul’s or Absalom’s.  It’s God’s!

I did not lift a finger to be made king. Nor shall I do so to preserve a kingdom. Even the kingdom of God! God put me here. It is not my responsibility to take, or keep, authority. Do you not realize, it may be his will for these things to take place? If he chooses, God can protect and keep the kingdom even now. After all, it is his kingdom.

That’s quite a different perspective! I just love the humble confidence it conveys. There is such freedom in navigating life as we realize that our being ‘on the throne’ may be God’s plan… and our no longer being ‘on the throne’ may be next in God’s plan.  Clinging to the throne is not our job.  Instead, trusting in God’s plan – leaning into His plan – frees us from fear!

Authority from God is not afraid of challengers, makes no defense, and cares not one whit if it must be dethroned.

Now it’s of course worth noting that our actions could cause our dethroning. It is always important that we rid of obstacles on our part:

I will not hinder God. No obstacle, no activity on my part lies between me and God’s will. Nothing will prevent him from accomplishing his will.

But this also means that we won’t get in His way if He’s moving us along!

The throne is not mine. Not to have, not to take, not to protect, and not to keep.

Do we desire God’s will more than we desire our throne – whatever that may be? Do we desire God’s will more than we desire a position of leadership? More than our financial success, or others’ liking us, or whatever we think we deserve?

Do we desire God’s will as David did?

I’d like to leave you with just one last question if I may. This is a difficult perspective to swallow. It’s a life-altering perspective, so by its nature, it can be a big shift to make. It often involves frustration, brokenness, heartache, and perseverance as we process it all. It often involves a wrestling match or two with the Lord… and perhaps with ourselves. It involves a willingness to be transformed and embrace earthly loss for the sake of God’s kingdom. It may initially seem like loss, but it may actually be the greatest thing this world needs.

What does this world need: gifted men and women, outwardly empowered? Or individuals who are broken, inwardly transformed?

It can seem more fun – and easier – to be the former. But it may be more valuable – and ultimately more impactful for the kingdom – to be the latter.  The dethroning may seem like a setback.  But it may ultimately be for the advancement of God’s kingdom plans and the glory of the King!

the most *lovely* marriage tip

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One of the best pieces of advice we got before we got married has been so helpful to keep our thoughts lovely – and far from intent on criticism.  It went something like this:

Beware of the things you love most about your spouse –
those are the things Satan will use to drive you crazy!

The guy who gave us the tip told us this story…

couple in convertible sports carOne of the things he loves most about his wife is how expressive she is.  She can articulate herself well, enjoys telling stories, is always full of ideas, and is never at a loss for conversation.  He just adores this about her.  She is so fun to listen to!

…until they took a cross country road trip : )

Her stories were great on the east coast.  They had some laughs through the Appalachians and towards Elvis territory.  As they hit the Mississippi, she was still talking!!  He began to wonder how big that area was that Lewis and Clark explored – hopefully small!  Passing through the corn fields of the Midwest, he began to think (hope!) that surely she was running out of words.  But no luck!  He was starting to go a little crazy.  How could one person have so many words?  He tossed her his cell phone and pleaded, “Call someone.  Anyone!  Please” : )

It was the very thing he adored about her that was driving him insane about her!  But he was able to keep from being intent on criticism by remembering that her expressiveness is (in general : )) one of her most lovely attributes.  He’s just got to watch it that he doesn’t allow Satan to use it against them.

Being aware of this was so helpful for me when my husband and I got married.  One of the things I just adore about my husband is his intentionality.  He is a committed friend, a faithful husband, and a consistent man of prayer.  He is reliable as can be, steady and rock solid (physically, too : )- ).  He is faithful because he is intentional – he considers carefully to what and to whom he will commit.  Then when he says he’ll do something, you can count on it.

I am a woman of action. I tend to have lots of ideas, and I like to make them all happen – now : ).  So his intentionality I love.  But intentionality sounds like this:

Me:  I have an idea.
Husband: Really?  That’s unusual.  (wryly)
Me: [whatever the idea is]
Husband:  That’s worth thinking about.

So there I am – kind of stuck at the starting gate, raring to go.  And he’s, well, thinking about it.  Me, in action mode…and him, sitting.  Me, almost off and running…and him, deciding.  Tension just waiting to be tested.

But the Lord is faithful to bring to mind wise words from our friend:

Beware of the things you love most about your spouse –
those are the things Satan will use to drive you crazy!

I love his intentionality, so I’ve got to love all of it!  His faithfulness comes as a result of consideration and taking time to make decisions.  So if I love his faithfulness, I’ve got to love the whole faithfulness package – including the deciding, praying, and considering!

And if I’d admit it, it’s good for me, too.  My husband is kind of like a governor for me.  He kind of helps regulate me and keeps me from running myself into the ground, which I desperately need!  Ultimately, it’s helpful.  But at the time… well… I’m glad to have this reminder to help me see it that way!