Category Archives: is it pure?

Gloryingly Pure

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I just love 1 John 3:2-3:

We know that when [Jesus] appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is.  And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.

I love that it gives us insight on how to do this ‘pure’ thing.

Let’s say that as we’ve been reading these blog posts (and our cute little characters – did you like them? : )), that we’ve started to think, “I really get the value of this ‘pure’ thing.  I really want to think things that are ‘pure’ in all areas of my life… including my friendships.”

But sometimes our thoughts may be running all over the place, headed for the dregs, on things about our acquaintances that are not Philippians 4:8 ‘pure.’  When that happens, what do we do?  How can we refocus ourselves?

Sometimes the best first step is to first take a step back.  To refocus on the big picture.  To set our thoughts back in the right direction.  To rest our heart in Christ.

And this is exactly what 1 John 3:2-3 teaches us:

…everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself…

Everyone who fixes their hope on Christ and His coming purifies himself.  As we take a step back, we reflect on who Christ is, and we remember that He is coming back one day as a victorious King!  We reflect on His victory, His glory, and His people fighting together in unity against the true enemy.

It is such a crazy blessing and so fun to think what that will be like!  And as we do this, we are propelled on a path – we are motivated with the end in mind – to recalibrate our compass, align our hearts, rid of those things that get us off target, and charge forth with purity of purpose in victory.

I love it!

Now let me back up quickly to verse 2:

We know that when [Jesus] appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is.

Did you catch the ‘because’ in the verse?

…we will be just like Him, *because* we will see Him just as He is.

When Christ appears, the reason we will be just like Him is because we will see Him just as He is.

Not just as we long for him to be, or just as we’ve heard He is, or just as we think He should be.  But just as He actually is. And because we see Him just as He is, we will be like Him!

As Barnes observes,

“It is clearly implied here that there will be an influence in beholding the Saviour as he is, which will tend to make us like him, or to transform us into his likeness.”

How amazing is that?

So part of the value of fixing our hope on Him is that it can motivate us – and give us clarity — towards purity.  But part of the value of focusing on Christ and seeing Him just as He is also seems to be that it can tend to make us like Him.

And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. ~ 2 Corinthians 3:18

How crazy amazing is that?!

So how do we do this ‘pure’ thing?  Well, a great first step is to ask,

“Is my hope fixed on Christ? Is my hope fixed on His appearing and seeing Him just as He is?”

This is one of my favorite songs to help me do so : )


What glory it is as we fix our hope on Him and His appearing! And what glory is the transformation that follows.

My heart

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As we were boarding our flight to come back from the beach, we met some of the dearest people.  A group of caretakers from an adult group home took the group homies (is there a proper term?  idk, but this one is kind of fun!) on a cruise.  How precious is that!

Now the group homies were of various ability levels.  Many were in wheelchairs, many were nonverbal… and all were just precious.  The caretakers looked exhausted – just one more leg to get home!

God was gracious to plant one of the gentlemen next to me.  He wasn’t communicative, but oh how he communicated so powerfully to me a message I needed to be reminded of that day at that particular time.  His rocking and swaying kept me vigilant of his presence – and I needed that constant reminder.  I needed the reminder of God’s gracious love for His precious creations.  I needed the reminder that He is perfect and His plan is perfect – He doesn’t make any mistakes!  And I needed the reminder that I am blessed abundantly – He has given me gifts and abilities even in daily life, and I oft forget to remember their privilege.

Oh, how I needed those reminders that day at that particular time!

You see, we were standing in line for quite a while as the plane was loading.   With many passengers of various ability levels, it took a bit to load.  We were all lined up in that tunnel thing to get onto the plane (like my terminology? : )) just a-chilling.  The family in front of me I unfortunately didn’t speak their language, and the woman behind me was in high complaining mode.  That’s totally not my cup of tea, so I prayed, “Lord, what shall we do while we’re a-chilling?”

He brought to mind something that I’ve been told by some wise people a few times along my journey.  I’d kind of pushed it aside when they mentioned it because… well.. in all honesty, it seemed a bit much to me.  And… truthfully…I didn’t want it to be true.  But multiple people have said it – and they are people for whom I have great respect.  So I busted out my iPhone.  I’d been intending to research it for a while ~ apparently now is the time!

And oh. my. goodness.  My heart just broke.

I’ve waited quite a while to type this story for fear my tears would fry my motherboard.

{oops}

As I’m typing, I’m not sure I’ve waited long enough.

When I googled, this is what I found:

a negative defining statement told to you or about you.

Another website stated it similarly:

a lie told to you or about you.

Also,

defining people by telling them what they are, what they think, their motives, and so forth.

And my heart. just. sank.  I’m not sure I knew it could sink so heavily.

This is exactly what we’ve been talking about on {double hockey sticks}.  Exactly.

  • To stop, drop, and roll to be sure we’re not convinced that we think we know what people think, what their motives are, and what they are.
  • To forgo perceptions to avoid inaccurately defining people.
  • To think things that are true – actually, factually true to be sure we’re not creating negative defining statements.

I. was. stunned.

Stunned.

Why?

Because of the term I looked up.  I had thought for sure that applying this term to my journey was overstated.  For sure it didn’t apply in the mature Christian kingdom.

Oh how I wish that were true.

The term?

‘Verbal abuse.’

Yikes.

Can I tell you the part that makes me the saddest?  It just grieves me to my core.

So often in the Christian kingdom, we do this:

  • We tell people what we think their (sinful) motives were in a situation.  We tell them what we think they think.  We tell them what we think they are.
  • Then if they don’t ‘own’ the things we think about them, then we tell them they aren’t teachable, they aren’t willing to own their faults, they aren’t submissive.

We start by defining a person, telling them what they are, what they think, their motives.  That is the definition of verbal abuse.  Then when they don’t own our verbal abuse, we further define them by telling them what they and their motives are.  We start with verbal abuse, then we pile more verbal abuse onto it.  Uck!

And the part that just grieves me to my core?

We say we are “speaking the truth in love.”

We baptize it.  We baptize verbal abuse.

Oh – I just grieve thinking about how that must grieve the heart of God.  Oh goodness.  How it must grieve Him that we talk to His precious children that way.  How it must grieve Him that we view His precious creations that way.  How it must grieve Him that we sin by thinking things about His precious creations that aren’t true, noble and right.  How it must grieve Him that we blame *them* when they don’t own *our* sin (of not thinking things that were true, noble, and right). How it must grieve Him that we then pile on more verbal abuse.  And oh how it must grieve Him that we sin and verbally abuse one another under the guise of God’s Word!

Oh how it must grieve the heart of God!

No wonder it causes so much destruction in God’s kingdom.  And no wonder it hurts so.

So here I was, standing in the tunnel thing to board the plane, dumbstruck and grieved.  I’ve been trying on {double hockey sticks} to cast vision for people to live a calling of thinking things that are true, noble, and right about others.  But really, all we’re trying to do is not verbally abuse one another.  That’s all.

Amen?  Can we make a pact on that?

No verbal abuse.

And *especially* no verbal abuse baptized as ‘speaking the truth in love.’

Uck.

So I boarded the plane grieving.  Grieving what we do to each other.  Grieving what we’ve done to the Lord.  Grieving how we’ve misapplied His Word.  Hurting anew at some parts of my own journey.  Grieving.  And angry.

And the Lord in His good pleasure placed the most perfect person next to me.  As he rocked back and forth uncommunicative, oh how he communicated God’s love to me! God’s plans are perfect. He has unique journeys and challenges for each of His creations.  And they are all perfect in His plan.  His creations are perfect.  His blessings are abundant.  Oh how He reminded me of things I needed to remember that day at that moment.

We are blessed – abundantly.  We are loved – fully.  He has us each on a journey – purposefully.  He is a God of Victory, and He will bring us through – victoriously.

So as we consider thinking things that are pure – things that are holy – let’s make a pact to be set apart.  Set apart for the Lord… and far, far away from verbally abusing one other.  Set apart for pure, holy, joy-filled relationships in God’s kingdom.  Set apart for His blessed glory!  Amen?

a little ol’ note
If you’ve been following this blog, you know this well: My husband is my biggest fan, and the most caring, godly, wise person I know.  Just to be abundantly clear – the grief and hurt I mentioned about my journey has *not* been caused by him.  The Lord has been very gracious in our marriage.  For that, I am blessed.

I’m not a dreg runner!

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Do you know what I especially love about this water bottle analogy that we’ve been on?  It’s this: I think it so accurately captures a very common confusion in conflicts.

Here’s our scenario…

Gene tells Bob that he won’t be able to join him for the movies. Bob reads into it that Gene is selfish – that he isn’t willing to give of his time to see the movie that Bob wants to see.  Gene is totally confused; he simply had prior plans.  There is no larger message or motive.  He simply is not available to go to the movies.  Yet Bob blames Gene for being selfish and wants Gene to own his selfishness.

Wow – that’s no fun.

Now what really happened?

Gene did a normal, non-moral action.  Given the invitation of going to the movies, he regretfully declines.  He has the right to say yes or no.  But Bob read motive into it – that Gene is selfish.  Bob had an impure thought, created a dreg, and then blamed Gene for that dreg.  He wants Gene to own the dreg.

But Gene’s water bottle is clear.  Why would Gene take Bob’s dreg?  If Bob wants to rid himself of the dreg, he can try to give it to Gene, but why would Gene own Bob’s impure thought?  Why would Gene be dregged down by it?  Why would Gene be a ‘dreg runner’? : )

This is why I love this illustration:

The water bottles offer such a clear picture of boundaries.  Bob created his own dreg, but he wants Gene to own it.  Look at the two pictures – how crazy is that?

Make no mistake – Satan loves to confuse us about our water bottles!

Satan is the great distorter of reality.  Recall in the garden when he tempted Eve to question God’s boundaries and his truth.  The consequences were disastrous. (Boundaries, 35)

If Satan can cause a rift by convincing us that our impure thought – our sin – belongs to another, oh how happy he can be!  If he can get us to accuse each other, oh how much easier that makes his job!  We then start taking each other out, and he can move on to creating other chaos.  All he has to do is get us confused about our boundaries.

Another way Bob can rid himself of the dreg is to purify it.  That rids of the dreg.  It gets it out of the water bottle – out of both water bottles!  Ahhh… back to a pure friendship!

So do you see what I love this illustration?  My dreg in my water bottle is my responsibility.  Another person’s dreg in their water bottle is not my dreg.  It is not my responsibility to own and confess their dreg.  In fact, it doesn’t even make sense!  I can’t confess another person’s sin for them. I can’t purify their dreg.  Only they can.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. ~ 1 John 1:9

So our dregs are our responsibility.  We must own our dregs before the Lord.  Not blame another for them.

Ok, enough with the water bottles? : )  But may they help us remember…

Relational jostles are inevitable.  It isn’t the jostle that messes up the relationship; it’s the dregs.  May we commit to distilling our dregs!

It’s only one dreg!

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Sometimes we think our thoughts about another person are pretty pure because most of our ‘water’ is, well, clear.

But sometimes our ‘water’ (our thoughts about another person) looks clear…only because our dregs towards them have settled to the bottom.

There they are: the bottom-feeders.  The dregs.

Sometimes we forget about them after they’ve settled to the bottom.  We don’t even realize they are adding weight to our thoughts about our friend.  Or maybe we know about them, but we keep setting them aside.  Pushing them down.  Maybe hoping they’ll go away?  But they don’t.  They pull us down… and often our friend and friendship with it.

Then all it takes is one little jostle.

And the friendship that we thought was in the clear is suddenly filled with the dregs that have been pushed down to the bottom… for who knows how long.

Sometimes it surprises us. Other times we saw it coming.  But our dregs definitely shock our friend.  If we’ve been showing our pure ‘water’ to them, well, of course they are stunned when it is suddenly infiltrated with dregs!

Two girlfriends – both of whom I just think the world of – suggested to me recently that I reread Cloud and Townsend’s Boundaries.  What a life changer it was for me over a decade ago!  And I think age has only enhanced its flavor : )

As I was reading, one sentence just jumped off the page at me.  It so poignantly captured the mess and hurt that a dreggy jostle can cause.  This is the quote in Boundaries language:

“Sometimes setting boundaries clarifies that you were left a long time ago, in every way, perhaps, except physically.” (109)

Yikes, right?  Even if you’ve never read Boundaries and have no idea what it’s talking about, you can still tell it hurts!

A boundary jostles. Even if it’s something as simple as “I’m sorry I can’t go to the movies with you tonight.”  With clear water, well, it’s no big deal.  We jostle, and we stay pure.  And our friendship stays pure.  But with sediment and dregs, we jostle, and… yuck.

Now for some crazy reason, some people like their dregs.  They want to hold on to them.  They choose to think dreggy thoughts about you.

That is totally worth grieving.

But a dreggy jostle doesn’t just reveal that our relationship is a mess.  It reveals that our relationship astonishingly *has been* a mess.  And that is really worth grieving.  We grieve that our friend has chosen to have dreggy thoughts at all… and especially for so long.  It’s hurtful when we learn how long the dregs have been collecting. And we grieve the loss that we invested into a friendship that wasn’t really as we thought.

What a mess dregs can make!  They lie at the bottom so innocuous, and so easy to forget or dismiss.

Now may I suggest that it is one little dreg – choosing to hold on to one measly little dreg – that actually begins the end of the friendship. One little dreg is how Satan starts.  One little dreg is how sin starts. Holding on to one little dreg is how relationships start to end.

So if you value the friendships you’re in, beware of one little dreg! Distill it.  Confess it and purify it before the Lord.  Renew your mind to think things about others that are ἁγνός – pure in the highest sense.

I am grateful that distillation is always a possibility in God’s world.  What peace there is in enjoying dreg-free thoughts about others. What delightful unity it enables to the Body. {happy sigh} The freedom and joy it brings to relationships is indeed life-giving.

So the choice for me?  Dreg free!

Dreg Free – the way to be!

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So me, I’m a little obsessed with water.  I just love the stuff.

My husband teases that we should start a scrapbook of my water bottles.  Kind of like Flat Stanley – you know, Flat Stanley goes to Washington.  Flat Stanley goes to Florida.  Well, my water bottle has some of the same adventures.

This is one of my husband’s favorite wedding pictures – it’s just so me.  With my water bottle : )

And here we are in the Cotswolds in England.  And yep, there it is.  Off to the side.  Do you see the water bottle?

So yes, I love me some water.

The other day, I asked my husband, “What comes to mind when you think of the word ‘pure’?”

He thought with his familiar pause.  Then he responded, “Water.”

I should have thought of that! : )

He was thinking about impurities in water.  If water sits really still, the impurities sink to the bottom.  At first glance, the water looks pure, but there are dregs hanging out at the bottom.  So if you nudge or jostle the water, the impurities get all mixed up and our ‘pure’ water becomes cloudy again.  The only way for impure water to become pure is to be distilled – to have the impurities removed.

As we look at Philippians 4:8 and thinking things that are pure, the illustration is helpful.  ‘Pure’ is from the word for ‘holy’ (you can see they are similar: ἁγνός is from ἅγιος).  In Scripture, ‘holy’ means separated from sin… separated from the dregs at the bottom of our bottles.  Our thoughts are to be clear and pure – holy and consecrated to God.  It’s no surprise that this is the adjective used for virgin (2 Corinthians 11:2).  That’s the kind of purity we’re talking about!

Ἁγνός …signifies often the pure in the highest sense.

Now purity of course pertains to more than just virgins – we’re not just talking about thinking sexually pure thoughts here.  Ἁγνός conveys a moral sense. It expands broader than sins of the flesh to moral spotlessness (1 Timothy 5:22), heavenly wisdom (James 3:17), ceremonial purification (Jn. 11:55; Acts 21:24, 26, 24:18), and purifying of heart and soul (Jas. 4:8; 1 Pet. 1:22; 1 Jn. 3:3).  It covers purity in all departments of life... including our friendships!

Gratefully, just as we can purify impure water and get those dregs outta there, we can purify impure thoughts to keep our friendships dreg free.  Praise God that we can confess our dregs, be forgiven, and distill those suckers outta there!

We have so much to explore with friendships and dregs and the critical role of thinking things that are pure… and I am excited about some fun new characters that will journey with us!  They debut in our next post – I hope you enjoy them : )  They’re passionate about their mantra: Dreggy thoughts have no place in our pure water!