One of the best pieces of advice we got before we got married has been so helpful to keep our thoughts lovely – and far from intent on criticism.  It went something like this:

Beware of the things you love most about your spouse –
those are the things Satan will use to drive you crazy!

The guy who gave us the tip told us this story…

One of the things he loves most about his wife is how expressive she is.  She can articulate herself well, enjoys telling stories, is always full of ideas, and is never at a loss for conversation.  He just adores this about her.  She is so fun to listen to!

…until they took a cross country road trip : )

Her stories were great on the east coast.  They had some laughs through the Appalachians and towards Elvis territory.  As they hit the Mississippi, she was still talking!!  He began to wonder how big that area was that Lewis and Clark explored – hopefully small!  Passing through the corn fields of the Midwest, he began to think (hope!) that surely she was running out of words.  But no luck!  He was starting to go a little crazy.  How could one person have so many words?  He tossed her his cell phone and pleaded, “Call someone.  Anyone!  Please” : )

It was the very thing he adored about her that was driving him insane about her!  But he was able to keep from being intent on criticism by remembering that her expressiveness is (in general : )) one of her most lovely attributes.  He’s just got to watch it that he doesn’t allow Satan to use it against them.

Being aware of this was so helpful for me when my husband and I got married.  One of the things I just adore about my husband is his intentionality.  He is a committed friend, a faithful husband, and a consistent man of prayer.  He is reliable as can be, steady and rock solid (physically, too : )- ).  He is faithful because he is intentional – he considers carefully to what and to whom he will commit.  Then when he says he’ll do something, you can count on it.

I am a woman of action. I tend to have lots of ideas, and I like to make them all happen – now : ).  So his intentionality I love.  But intentionality sounds like this:

Me:  I have an idea.
Husband: Really?  That’s unusual.  (wryly)
Me: [whatever the idea is]
Husband:  That’s worth thinking about.

So there I am – kind of stuck at the starting gate, raring to go.  And he’s, well, thinking about it.  Me, in action mode…and him, sitting.  Me, almost off and running…and him, deciding.  Tension just waiting to be tested.

But the Lord is faithful to bring to mind wise words from our friend:

Beware of the things you love most about your spouse –
those are the things Satan will use to drive you crazy!

I love his intentionality, so I’ve got to love all of it!  His faithfulness comes as a result of consideration and taking time to make decisions.  So if I love his faithfulness, I’ve got to love the whole faithfulness package – including the deciding, praying, and considering!

And if I’d admit it, it’s good for me, too.  My husband is kind of like a governor for me.  He kind of helps regulate me and keeps me from running myself into the ground, which I desperately need!  Ultimately, it’s helpful.  But at the time… well… I’m glad to have this reminder to help me see it that way!